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Thu 14 Oct, 2004 09:34 am
First of all, hello.
I'm new.
Secondly...to my problem. I'm currently at college (well, 6th form as it is known in England - I'm 16) and there is a boy in one of my classes who I rather like. The reason for my liking him is because he has an excellent and quick wit, and he makes the entire class laugh most lessons. Shortly after I realised I was interested in him, my mother recognised his name and realised that we had once been neighbours with his family when we lived down in Cornwall (which is a few hundred miles south of where we're living now). I mentioned this to him, thought it'd be a good point to start conversation. He was interested, but we didn't talk long. I always make an effort to say hello whenever I see him, and he always responds but quickly walks off. Any conversation we have is initiated by me, and I usually find myself talking a complete load of nonsensical waffle anyway.
Then one of my friends suggested he join a group for an extra-curricular activity that myself and some other friends had put together. He suggested that I would be the one to ask this boy, and he said yes, but never turned up to any of our meetings. Eventually, I asked him if he actually wanted to do it and he said no.
Those who know him tell me that he has no close friends, that he is reclusive, and that it is more probable that he likes me as he is shy. He does not, however, seem shy at all in lessons, or when he is with a group of friends. Having said this, he does not have any female friends and I'm not sure if it is just that he is shy in front of girls. I'm not so sure if he actually DOES like me, as the impression he gives me is that I should just get the hell out of his face. I'm always friendly to him and don't follow him around everywhere, but it seems as if I'm beating my head against a brick wall. What do you guys think?
Welcome to A2K, Absinthe666
He's either not interested in you and you're research is off, or more likely he hasn't yet figured out that he's gay.
OCCOM BILL wrote:...or more likely he hasn't yet figured out that he's gay.
LOL!
You could just try asking him out on a date.
Maybe he has a social disorder and doesn't know how to act around people. Or he's shy. Or he likes you and hasn't figured out how to act around a girl he likes. Or he's gay. Or he's politely trying to tell you he doesn't want to hang out/talk to you.
See the possibilities? There is no way for any of us to know since none of us know him and his "symptoms" could mean a hundred things. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
@Kristie: Thanks anyway! You see why this is confusing me? You're right: there are a lot of possibilities.
Maybe you could just ask him? But on re-reading you post, maybe he is just shy...he is 16 as well? That is really young for guys (emotionally). At 16, us women have made it past being weird around guys but I suspect a lot of guys still feel really weird around girls.
Guys, correct me if I'm wrong here?
Or maybe he has a disfigured penis, caused from a nasty fight with a vaccum cleaner.
Or maybe he's a typical shy 16 year old.
I am chosing the vacuum cleaner thats what happened to me anyways..
Haha, I've heard about a vacuum cleaner incident. Owch.
Something I forgot to mention, because I hadn't really thought much of it until now:
The guy himself is perfectly friendly to me when I get his attention, and never picks on me himself. However, there are two other boys in my class who make fun of me BUT ONLY WHEN they are sat next to the boy I like. I don't know if this means anything, but I get the feeling it means something negative. Even though I've been told that lads can behave in bizarre ways to get a girl's attention, it's still disconcerting.
Pick on you how? Mean or playful? Do you think they find you attractive perhaps and that's why they do it? Or is it mean spirited picking?
Let me tell you something, I am in the same situation as you, well sort of!! I really like this guy, in fact I think I love him, I worry about him alot when he doesn't show up to class, and when he does, I am the one always chase after him to ask him if he alright. For sure, the dude doesn't like me, why? Because I am the one always start conversation with him, and he just answer it, I know that he was just being nice to me and that all. But you see, that doesn't mean I have to give him up, I always try my best to show him I care for him, he doesn't have to like me back, but I want his own mouth to tell me to stop "talking" to him, then I stop. I don't listen to other people and give up for any reasons. So I advice you keep talking to him, if he get annoy to the point that he cannot handle it anymore, he will tell it to your face and that is time for you to stop. Most of my friends say that guy is not worth it for me to go after, but that is them, in my heart, he worth all the time that I give up for him.
Keep talking to him, in fact, ask him out for a coffee, maybe he want to be nice and go with you, or maybe he say straight in your face and you will know the exact answer and it is time to stop bother him.
Since you only 16, you probably won't like this guy for like the rest of your life. You will find yourself attracted to someone else later on. But for me, my definition of love is when you love someone, you just want them to be happy, it doesn't mean you have to see them everyday, but if you know he is happy with what ever he do. You should be glad for him too.
OCCOM BILL wrote:Pick on you how? Mean or playful? Do you think they find you attractive perhaps and that's why they do it? Or is it mean spirited picking?
Is there a difference when it comes to teenage boys? :wink:
yeah, I'm with the others. forget him, and find a guy with an undisfigured penis.
Kristie wrote:OCCOM BILL wrote:Pick on you how? Mean or playful? Do you think they find you attractive perhaps and that's why they do it? Or is it mean spirited picking?
Is there a difference when it comes to teenage boys? :wink:
To be frank: That depends on what she looks like. If she is attractive, then no, there is no difference. :wink: If that is the case, than instead of being queer, he could just be afraid of looking stupid in front of his friends. Most failure is caused by fear failure. That's why when something is important to them, people tend to be at their worst. People who overcome this fear tend to be very successful in whatever they choose to do.
OCCOM BILL wrote:Pick on you how? Mean or playful? Do you think they find you attractive perhaps and that's why they do it? Or is it mean spirited picking?
Actually, according to one of my male friends, this lad absolutely hates me and will tell anyone who listens. I don't know why this is; 6 years ago when I was in my last year of primary (elementary) school I sat next to this lad and he annoyed me so much I asked to be moved away from him. I've only recently discovered that he has been saying this about me. I also noticed that he only picks on me when he is sat near the guy I like. His other friend joins in but the guy I like does not. When this lad was absent for a lesson the other day, both his friend & the guy I like took no notice of me. So it is mean spirited picking, yes.
@td8181: How do you know for sure that this guy does not like you? Is he the same with you as he is with everybody else?
I used to know a woman who had a major crush on me, for pretty much the same reasons you like this guy. However, I gave her the impression that I totally hated her for some reason. Anyway, she decided to ask me out, for better or worse. Today, she's my wife.
Mind you, I don't have a disfiguired penis.
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