My personal ad

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I'm thinking of trying this online dating thing. Here's what I'm thinking of putting in my ad. What do you think?

Hi. I'm Kicky. Let me first tell you that I'm a pessimist. In fact, I always expect the worst, and usually I'm right. I hate everything and everyone.

I'm ugly. I like to watch a lot of TV, and I like to chain-smoke cherry middleton cigars. I like to swear at people randomly as I'm walking to work. I smell like stale cheese and ash. My favorite pastime is bitching about the same things over and over and over again, until I alienate all who dare try to get close to me. I don't believe in love, but I believe that hate is very real.

I hate going out. I'm cheap. I believe we are all doomed to a life of boredom and the anesthetizing glare of the television eye, until sweet death one day releases us. People react with a combination of fear and pity when they first meet me. I like to sleep. A lot. I hate children. I think Oprah is a hideous beast who doles out dimestore advice on how to live to sheep-like morons. I drink. A lot.

If you have read this far, you obviously have some real serious psychological problems. Drop me a line.

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I think you will get a lot of responses just to razz Razz

you

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Oh you will get some responses. You will get those psycho chicks that bring home any strays and like to help fix people. Those types that think they can change the world.

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But I thought you just got married ... Confused

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As long as you don't include a line like:"I'm not a good provider" you should have no problems finding your SO.

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Join us kicky: http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=22545&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

I had almost forgotten about this thread of mine...

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Yep Cav, that's looks like Kicky's kind of thread Smile

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I think Slappy "The Terminator" put the kibosh on that thread.

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It's still active...

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Good, I'm gonna go derail it. Twisted Evil

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I think it's a great ad Kicky and one thing's for sure...the women who respond will be loaded with issues themselves....all of which require and come with some sort of perverse sexual acting out strategy....you're in for a great time......video please....

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panzade wrote:

Good, I'm gonna go derail it.

Hmm....I hope in a positive way. :wink:

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Thanks, bear. I hope you're right, cuz I need some freaky monkey-lovin' soon!

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This is a real personal ad and one you should answer, kicky...even though you don't like kids...this could be opportunity knocking

Quote:

"Adventerous Gal seeking Gentlemen"

About me and who I'd like to date
I am 22 years old, I am a full time student going for medical transcription and have til June 2004 to get done. I have a 15 month old boy and one that due in August. Yes, I am pregnant. But that shouldn't mean you wouldn't want to talk or be with me!!! RIGHT!! Anyways, I am open-minded to alot of things and very adventerous. When not pregnant, I like the bar scene but not too often. I am VERY big on family. I like to do the family things. I love the outdoors especially fishing! Anyways, I am looking first for someone to talk to and get to know, and if things are great than maybe more. Like I said I am very open-minded. Hope to meet you soon!

(I hear ya. When I'm not pregnant, I like walks on the beach, bungee jumping, giving birth...wait, no that IS when I'm pregnant. I get confused sometimes. You know how it is)

:wink:

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Ha ha! That sounds like a winner!

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Damn the woman of my dreams... hahahaha

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My FI put in an ad JUST like yours Kicky (first post), and I responded to it.

No one's stupid. A normal person can tell they aren't being serious and/or are looking for people that can laugh/not take things so seriously.

He turned out to be a hot stud and no mental issues. Wink

Personal ads that "fib the truth" are NO DIFFERENT than real life. Who doesn't run into a girl and fib about their life or past experiences? I don't mean everyone does, but I just don't get when people say "Everyone lies on those things. I figured out people lie back when I was 5, reading those "Wally learns a lesson in school today" books.

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People do exaggerate in their personal ads. That's why at the end of my ad explaining how I'd like a woman I could tie up and use as a personal BB gun target after sex, I say I like hugs. But I don't like hugs. Who knew?

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you're demented...and I want more!

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Yeah, lying in the dating scene is pretty common...I mean, what about Wonderbras? False advertising if you ask me.

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My personal ad

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