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Help I need advice I might wrecked a marriage

 
 
Reply Mon 26 Dec, 2016 01:26 pm
My ex and I been together for almost 3yrs. Until he went to abroad 2011. We had long diatamce relationship for almost a year and weve been clear how.much we love each other however there are circumstances that we cannot avoid. He was very honest for leaving me and opted to see someone 2012 and planning to get marry someone because his undocumented. The time he left me he said I should move on follow my dreams and hoping I focus on my dreams and hoping i may not have relationship yet. For him he needs to break up with me even though he love me because he needs it and also he wants to give a new relationship a chance. When we broke up he blocked me in all our communication I was not also able to say my piece. I was left hanging. Since i cannot contact him in anyway I found someone easily I can say more of a rebound but I got pregnant 2013. During pregnancy my thoughts are for my ex I still love him. Until I knew from a friend that indeed he got married. So by that time I also tried working out of the relationship for the father of my child until I gave birth 2013. The father of my child helping financialy but our relationship is whirlwind bcause he has vices. When I gave birth suddenly me and my ex got in touched. He was very surprised I have a baby after less than a year he broke up with me... We talked about things.. him being married happily and also im sayings things that I am also happy. Our communication was very frequent from Dec. 2013, 2014, and 2015. During 2015 he started talking about our past until hw told me he only married because he was undocumented but he loved the girl however time goes by he said they are not compatible and they fight most of the time though I can sense that he still loves me I was very clear that even im.not yet married I am very happy with my family even it is a lie...because i was living with all fights as well. Until 2015 of Nov. I flew abroad and leave my daughter and partner to work. 2016 came and a lot of problmes arises between me and my partner that i decided to have my daughter send to my parents instead of my partner. My ex and I still communicate and told him about the truth of whata going on with my life..he also shared that they might have divorce with his wife because his wife been abusing him verbally if they have arguments until such time that we opened up feelings that still there...
Its just that Im guilty I dont know if its still right that we communicate he still married and my partner and I are still hanging...I still love my ex. But i did nit express it though his expressing his love to me i just always say that its nit right and we should stop but the more time goes by the more we long for each other and evrytime he will tell me that they have a fight it makes me think ita because of me. I dont know what to do.
 
View best answer, chosen by juliona86
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 08:03 am
@juliona86,
Quote:
I dont know what to do.
Stop contacting him. Stop letting him contact you. (Block him) He is married and should be off limits to you unless/until he is not married.

Now you know what to do.
Leadfoot
 
  3  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 08:41 am
@juliona86,
julion, you desperately need to learn to love yourself. When you do, you will realize that these men did not love you and have treated you very badly.

You deserve better that either one.
juliona86
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 11:18 am
@CoastalRat,
Your right I already thought of it. I just dont have the courage yet. As of now I am not responding yet to his messages.. I want to clear my head what Im going to say. If indeed he loves me he should not put me in a situation that will also haunt me. Yes unless his not married anymore maybe thats the time we could give a chance to each other. So easy to say but so hard because I still love him. Thank you 😢
0 Replies
 
juliona86
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 12:04 pm
@Leadfoot,
@leadfoot
thank you for letting me know about my worth. I will take that in mind. I just can't figured out on how to resist.
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 12:51 pm
@juliona86,
I strongly agree with Leadfoot and Coastal Rat.
Your self worth is very important.
Block the guy. You don't need to nice it up.

Consider counselling, that could help bolster who you are and make situations like this, which a lot of us have been through, be less fraught.
ossobucotemp
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 01:22 pm
@ossobucotemp,
Sorry, I reread and decided I'm not as sure as sound.
If it were me, though, I would do what Coastal Rat and Leadfoot advise, and still think it would be best for you... but I don't know if it would or not. Your decision.
juliona86
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 06:24 pm
@ossobucotemp,
Yes indeed in the end its my decision. Thank you. Im in a place right now whether to wait or let fate decide on us. I still love him though after all what happened. He also still love me, he was just put before in unfavorable circumstance. I have in mind we both stop and wait or me stop,block him and left without any words to say and maybe take a chance on fate 😢 its so hard. Either way nothing is easy. Its not fair for all of us I guess ...its a matter of doing the right thing.
0 Replies
 
juliona86
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 06:30 pm
I dont know if its right to like waiting for his divorce. Amd then we start over. I feel like if I wait Im also hoping that they will get divorce 😢
ossobucotemp
  Selected Answer
 
  2  
Reply Tue 27 Dec, 2016 07:20 pm
@juliona86,
Add to that that you two might not just coalesce easily, much as you romantically think you will.

I suggest not marrying swiftly if he is suddenly available.
0 Replies
 
 

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