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fiance vs.

 
 
fubar
 
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:34 pm
Hi guys,

I'm new here and am seeking your collective wisdom.

My fiance never says as much, but it has become clear that she really hates a number of my friends. Sad I'm thinking that the hatred is stemming from jealousy. Any demonstrations of my appreciation for her always seem to have a positive, but extremely fleeting effect. I am at such a loss. I don't want to lose anybody. It feels like marrying your love is divorcing all the others that you love. Crying or Very sad

Single = lonely, but what if married = lonely too?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 449 • Replies: 4
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sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:56 pm
Well, your name seems to indicate your opinion about the status of your relationship...?

What has happened when you've tried to talk to her about it? This is definitely one of those things where you want to get it all out there and figured out BEFORE your wedding day.

I'm sure there are exceptions but it doesn't seem to me like you should have to lose your friends as a general concept. Maybe spend less time in bars and stuff -- I don't have any kind of a feel of what the situation is. But this is definitely a big thing that you want to have a genuine agreement on before tying the knot.

Good luck!
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Debra Law
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 06:56 pm
talk
She may be plagued with jealousy or insecurity or low self-esteem.

How much time do you spend with your fiance in comparison to your friends? How do you treat her when she socializes with your friends? What is it about your friends that she dislikes? Could she dislike them because they consume too much of your time or because you seem to turn into a different person around them or because of some other reason?

You need to talk to your fiance about this issue and determine what the true nature of problem is and what you can do to resolve the problem BEFORE you get married.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:12 pm
You're hearing it three times which makes it true. Why does your fiance resent your friends? Find out before the wedding. If she expects the two of you to live in each other's pockets, those pockets will be crowded.

Does she have many friends of her own? Family? What is her idea of a Suitable Social Circle?
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princesspupule
 
  1  
Reply Tue 12 Oct, 2004 07:12 pm
ftr: "fiance" = male betrothed; "fiancee" = female betrothed.

I'd hope you peops would know that a'ready Wink
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