Reply
Tue 12 Oct, 2004 09:27 am
One day after my back was aching, I said, "Oh no, I'm getting old." My 5 year old daughter overheard me and started crying, "I don't want you to get old." So I explained to her that I wasn't old yet and that everyone does get old eventually, but it is okay to get old. Then an even greater look of horror came across her face and she said, "That means you will get old, and when you get old you die." Now where she heard this (school maybe?) I don't know. She started crying and crying and saying, "I don't want you to die." Now talk about reality check for me - I really don't need this reminder for myself. I tried to comfort her and let her know that it would be sooo long before that happened. She would have finished school, be an adult and may be married and have her own children. Nothing seemed to comfort her. Finally she did calm down. Luckily she never considered herself in this thought. Anyone have this happen and how best to deal with telling a little innocent child the truth about death without terrifying her?
Linkcat--
You're on the right track by explaining the inevitability of death without dwelling on the topic.
Could there be any connection with Halloween?
I had the "death" conversation when my boys were that age. The part they just loved was that if their father and I should die in the near, near future that both sets of grandparents, an aunt, an uncle, and a good college friend would all be playing One Up and Tug of War about who got to raise these two adorable orphans.
The hypothetical battle always ended in favor of my sister since we had appointed her guardian in our wills.
Thanks Noddy. I don't think it had anything to do with Halloween. She just seemed to associate getting old with death so I am not sure where she got that information. Although we limit her TV and what she watches maybe something there slipped by. You know those Disney movies are so full of parents dying. I had to explain to her the other day about why Lilo's sister was taking care of her instead of her mom and dad. I love Disney movies, but can't they stop killing off parents?
One of the charms of children's literature (in books as well as on the screen) is that parents are out of the way so that the children can have the spotlight.
Remember, your daughter is processing necessary information that you hope she won't need for a long time--but she must have the information handy when she does need it.
Motherhood isn't all Picture Book Moments, but discussions of Eternal Verities are much more fun than cleaning up vomit.
I have always told my cubs that every ache and pain...every illness...every wrinkle I have...is a result of them doing something bad and that God will judge them for it someday......keeps 'em in line really well...of course my youngest is almost 14 and they all sleep with the light on and wet the bed but hey.....small price to pay for respectful kids.....
Quote:...every wrinkle I have...is a result of them doing something bad and that God will judge them for it someday.
Hahaha, which means you'll make them responsible for your
next face lift. Quite clever, I might add.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace