My Wife & Erotic Dancing

My wife and I have been together over 8 years & have been married since this April.
We were high school sweethearts, and we had one of those on again-off again relationships for awhile.

Anyways, about 3 years ago when we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we lived together and had a newborn baby (not biologcally my child - but I told her I would love him as my own, and I have & always will) .

Money was tight, and she asked me if it was cool for her to go dancing to earn some extra money. I put a little thought into it and said go for it.
After about a month later, and after I had put some more thought into it, I told her I didn't like what she was doing. I no longer wanted to have my significant other to be a dancer, I didn't want her to get used to the easy money, I didn't like lying to other people about were she was on the weekends, I didn't like her coming home at 6am, sometimes drunk etc and I didn't think our son would want to grow and find out his mother used to strip.
We argued a bit & I told her that if she danced again, I was leaving. She the promised that she wouldn't dance again.
A week later she asks if she can go to the strip club and _only_ work at the bar. I agreed. She then came home the following morning and told me she gave a lap dance to some guy AND his girlfriend, she emphasized the guys grilfriend to some how justify what she did (thinking I may find it cool or kinky or something) - she then fell asleep about 2 minutes later.
I was stunned, but I had heard enough. She danced, she broker her promise, and I started packing my things. She woke up as I was leaving, I explained what she had done, and that I was leaving. She cussed & called me names, I told her "I hope your happy" and just walked away.

Fast forward - we get back together a year later, things seem to work out I ask her to marry me, she says yes, I go off to Basic Training for 4 months, come back and 6 months later were married.
Anyways, we actually have a great relationship. We allow each other to do as we please, we love each other, our kid is awsome, I have a good job w/ tremendous potential but...it's doesn't pay as good as we want it to.
I told her that if she's happy just maintaining the house, that I don't mind if she doesn't work, I'll pay all the bills and still give her money to go have fun. But, she want's a job, and she can't find one.
There are jobs in our area, but she refuses to believe that sometimes you just have to suck it up and take whats offered. She wants to pretty much start out earning like $600+/week plus benefits, with very little experience.
It's hard enough to find a job like that even if you already have proper experience and schooling like that in this area.
So, last week she told me she's going to go dancing. I told her she knew my point of view on this WELL before we got married. She said she's doing it anyways, I threatened divorce and told her she can pack her stuff if shes going to do that, she walked out the door and drove away. A few minutes later she called me from her cell and told me she won't dance.


Now, here come the questions of this lengthy post -

Why would she bring it there? Why would it have to come to the point of DIVORCE? She knew my strong feeling about the issue, she knew what they were when we got married, why does it have to get to that point?

We got into another argument about this last night because I couldn't believe she brought it so far. I told her I wanted her to understand the predicament I'm in now which is - "Did you say you didn't want to dance because I told you to move out?", "Are you using me to just live here now until you figure something else out?".
Then she just called me her at work and asked if I was still mad. I said "no, I actually still thinking about it". I told her to wait until I got home, and that we would talk there. She tells me that she has her stuff already packed! She said she doesn't know if she can be with ME if I can't trust her (referring to the 2 quesitons I just asked above)?! I told her I trusted her, then we argued about the question I asked her and I told her "Look, I trust you, leave it at that.".

Onto something else a little different now. I started thinking about her dancing again after our initial argument but have yet to come to a conclusion and am looking for some outside insight.

What if your significant other wanted to dance? Should I really think it's that bad?
If she were dancing fully clothed I would hesitate to tell her to do it if she wanted.
Shes always danced at the clubs somewhat erotically when we go out (shakin her booty etc - like all the other college girls at the local night clubs), I don't mind that.

I actually have to leave now, but I'd love to hear some people comment on what there thought would be if their significant other wanted to dance.