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HELP Standoffish Shy guy, how to play hard to get?

 
 
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 01:28 am
Okay backstory: so, I've been okayish friends with this guy for awhile and when we see eachother we'd talk here and there, wave acknowledgment all that good stuff. We always kept in contact and then one day it hit me that like i kind of have feelings for this guy, so i tried to reach out to him more. Now we have a 30 day snapchat streak, started texting more here and there and stuff, and now we text almost everyday but like i'll be honest im mainly initiating (like probs 4/5 times yes ik im desperate) But the guy is like shy as hell and kinda awkward and rude to everyone. Yes i know what your thinking why are you going for this type of guy, but like i everyone i swear he's like really nice when you get past his standoffish tendencies. Anyways with this guy i feel like I'm always initiating, but at the same time i know he's slightly interested from like body language and him always trying to get closer to me when we're around the same area. Sidenote we're in highschool if you hadn't figured that out by now, but like i even waved to him one time while our two friend group were talking next to eachother and he did a lil headnod with a smile and yea. Also a couple days ago i invited him and his friends to hangout with a big (25ish) group of people during winterbreak one day and he seemed kind of excited to do it saying like "oh yeah okay that seems like it would be so much fun."
So now that you know the backstory, ive realized that my problem is that im putting in most of the work. So obviously i need to pull back a bit, but like who would i do that, i feel like he would lose interest and move on if i stopped talking to him, and the whole talking to other guys make him jealous thing would just make him feel like he doesnt have a chance and he'd back the hell off. So guys where should i go from here? Theres also a sadie-hawkins dance at our school coming up in a month or so, and like he's not the type of guy to go to school dances (hes really really awkward) and like i just really dont know where to go from here. I gotta seem disinterested, yet not make him lose interest.
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 353 • Replies: 3
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 07:41 am
Well, he better be worth all this work. He seems like he's a real project!

Keep seeing him in groups. Hopefully he will get more comfortable with you.

But be realistic about this. At some point he's got to show some interest and give something of himself. Don't waste too much time.
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 09:54 am
@walrushark,
walrushark wrote:
I gotta seem disinterested


why? what's the upside to that?

do you think playing games helps when you're dealing with other people?
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Megantronus
 
  1  
Reply Fri 16 Dec, 2016 10:32 pm
@walrushark,
Careful.

If he's interested only when you're in close proximity, but makes no point to text you or contact you when you're not around, he may not be serious. I'm not saying he's not attracted to you, but he may be attracted to you in a way that's a lot more disconnected than you are. Shy and antisocial guys can seem like a safe bet, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're serious and that they can't be players.

If you're attracted to him and are fine with him for a fling, then that's probably safe. But if you want something more serious with him like a relationship, just be careful. Don't set your expectations to be unaligned with how he treats you and how often he engages conversation with you. There are guys out there besides him who will text you first and chase after you equally. So keep your chin up. Smile
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