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Tue 28 Jan, 2003 03:31 am
In America, a new two-year course to earn a degree in being a real man has just been unveiled. It runs as follows.
FIRST YEAR
Spring Schedule:
MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103: PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Underwear for Christmas
Summer Schedule:
MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting In at 3am
MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception
EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A: What's Hers is Hers
Fall Schedule:
MEN 120: How NOT to Act Like a Jerk When You're Wrong
MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, the Weaker Sex
MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR
Spring Schedule:
SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102: Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
SEX 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201: How to Put the Toilet Seat Down (Elective)
(See Electives Below)
Summer Schedule:
MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212: You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver
MEN 213: Honestly, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise
MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important
Fall Schedule:
MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222: Real Men Ask for Directions
MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important II
COURSE ELECTIVES
EAT 101: Cooking with Tofu
EAT 102: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231: Mothers-in-law
MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233: Just Say "Yes, Dear"
ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her
An additional elective has just been added to the schedule!
FAS01: You're 45; Stop Wearing your hair and Dressing as if you were still in High School
Er, what if I was a Young Republican? (Not bloody likely, but what if I was?)