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Fri 28 Oct, 2016 08:00 am
Hello,
My husband and I have only been married for a month and a half. This week he slept with my best friend, in our home. Now, I'll start from the beginning.
We have been together for four years this November. When he and I met he was signed up for the military. He and I were together for 2 months before he left for basic training. The first month he was gone my ex and I hooked up. He and I had been together on and off for three years and have a child together. After we hooked up I never told my then boyfriend (now husband) about it. I constantly heard in his letters about all the other guys in his unit that had found out their gf cheated on them and how terrible it was. I didn't want hit to feel that way and I KNEW it was the one and only time. So, I made the decision to never tell him. Now, fast forward 4 years. He and my ex are friends. Hanging out all the time and drinking together. You would of thought they were besties for life. Well, my husband decided to ask him if he and I ever hooked up while he was gone, so being that they are now friends, by ex decided to tell him, yes. My husband kicked me and my children out of the house so he could think things over. I respected his decision and we left. I went to stay with my friend (or so I thought). No sooner did I fall asleep at her house, she left. She came to MY home where she proceeded to lay on my couch with my husband and they had sex. there was photographic evidence taken by her boyfriend. now the images just burn my head.
he seems to think that we should just forgive each other and just move on. I honestly don't know what I want. I love my husband. but I cant help but feel that he is always going to be thinking of her anytime we kiss or touch. and since I've seen the photos anytime he touches me that way they are going to flash back into my head. I don't want to be the idiot that "stuck around for the kids" and then something happens again.
he has agreed to go to couples therapy.
not looking for answers, there is no right answer and its my life, so its not like anyone else can tell me what to do. just looking for some outside ideas.
What a mess
I dont see the "balance" of you messing around UMARRIED 4 years ago !! and what he did just recently.
Go to counseling. There's lots to sort out. Your soldier boy is very immature.
@unsure91,
Yes, therapy. Did he not ever hear that two wrongs do not make a right?
I hope your best friend is no longer your best friend. Because a friend does not screw her friend's husband.
I say again, therapy. Good luck to both of you.
@unsure91,
There is a good reason the military offers counselling for its members.
Go.
It probably would have been good to take advantage of the services years ago - especially before you married.
@unsure91,
unsure91 wrote:No sooner did I fall asleep at her house, she left. She came to MY home where she proceeded to lay on my couch with my husband and they had sex. there was photographic evidence taken by her boyfriend.
hopefully you are now far away from this person and her boyfriend
they're both nasty
@ehBeth,
Maybe nasty but skilled! It horribly inconvenient to have sex on the couch!
Trust me...
@unsure91,
I will just answer this with a question. Is there ANYONE of the younger generation that has a SHRED of decency anymore? It seems all any of you ever do is bed hop without any intelligent thought.
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