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Long term relationship, needs space but continues to contact

 
 
Reply Sun 23 Oct, 2016 06:38 pm
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Long story short, we have had some bumps on the way. We have broken up a few times, seen other people. All in all the break ups don't last, and the other people don't last. We both agree that it is right between us and we love each other more than words can describe, we decided it was time to move forward and get a grasp on a more stable relationship; marriage. (The subject has been a topic of discussion in the past numerous times). But the problem is recently about every other day it is back and forth. He started off with he needed space to figure things out, I agreed with him and let him have the space, I even stated marriage could wait. A few days later he started contacting me again just like nothing was wrong we talk normally, we see each other. A few days later after the greatness he decides he needs space again and he isn't sure of things. But it comes down to not speaking for a day or two and then he contacts me. I need him to be serious and work out any issues he is feeling but I have a hard time not responding when he does contact. I already told him today when he stated he needed space again that this was serious and he shouldn't contact me until he was fully certain on his decision of either walking away or being with me. What should I do or say if he contacts me again and then shuts down a day later??
 
CalamityJane
 
  4  
Reply Sun 23 Oct, 2016 08:02 pm
@ATD021715,
Looks like you're not right for each other after all. After 4 years one knows if the person is the one he/she wants to spend the rest of his life with or not.
Getting back and forth and needing time is childish. Time for what? Either he is very immature, not ready, or just not that into you. Do yourself a favor and save yourself from a lot of heartache and just break it off and move on.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2016 06:51 am
@ATD021715,
What is he doing during the "space" days?
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Peninnah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 24 Oct, 2016 11:28 am
@ATD021715,
A great man once told me,"baby,if you love me enough,you wouldn't require any space,you would stay here with me,suffocate with me,because of me,until you learn to breath again with my ****(referring to our fights and rows and ...)around."
Ask yourself,when you get married,(because marriage can be shitty!(whooo!makes you wanna run( sometime) far far from your hubby who you love more than life itself))and you have a home,a life,kids perhaps,together,and he says I want space,will you be able to handle that?!
Why do you want to commit to a man who has shown you in black and white that he doesn't want to commit to you?!
But hey,Kate Middleton and hers' did a number of back and forth and look at them now?!
What I mean is,its your decision,but its your heart,your life,your time and your vagina on the line!I hope you value them enough to give them the kind of lifetime commitment that they deserve!
Goodluck
Peninnah
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