SEX TERMS

SEX TERMS

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh,
nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX: A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big
problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets
out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely
natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained,
"It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX: Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked
his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me
when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're
never home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine
could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the
surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be
$3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure
he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over
with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the
phone and explained their options. The doctor came back int o the room, and
found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?"
asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the
day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here
Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

WOMEN'S HUMOR My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This
will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

HAPPY SEX A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."