You need your meds adjusted.
Talk to the doctor who prescribed yours.
You have to make up your mind whether you want to live or not.
Your life is all you have. Are you really ready to give it up?
Do you want to die or do you want the pain to go away?
My bet is it's the latter.
If so, keep trying whatever drugs and therapy will result in the elimination of, at least, most of your pain.
If my bet is wrong, do better...it's really not that hard to kill yourself...if you truly want to.
What you are going through is horrific, but you have to take control.