Why is it my spouse is wiling to let me die?

Why wouldn't they take back telling me to kill myself? I feel like I keep waiting for her call to stop me. Last time I really tried I called and called, and there was no answer. She let me die...I was found at the last few minutes. Now, I can't tell her she is the only one (quite literally) that can stop me right now. I cant even tell her i might have cancer. If her mother knew the reason a life was taken was because she didn't take me seriously, she would tell her to talk to me, but I saint do that either! How can I express the fact this isn't just "divorce drama"? My spouse doesn't know that I almost died a week or so ago, but the pills made me throw up until i passed out. Threw up all the pills. Now I am going to go for sure, unless there is someway to get her to drop everything and understand the severity! Help! Any thoughts?