starting things back up again...?

Honestly? I'd wait. Men generally like to do the chasing/pursuing... Let him do the early work; there'll be enough for you to do later...

Amanda...what PP said.

It may be the 21st century, but men are normally the hunters. Allow them to do what they do best--or not at all.

TMI

well i couldnt do it....i HAD to talk to him...so i texted him, he texted back....we ended up talkin on the phone...

he told me that last night he knew that he wanted to be w/ me, but today he's not so sure. i told him he was being fickle, and i dont undersatnd how he can change his mind so fast...but i mean, i guess i do know why...he was engaged to be married about a year ago, and he's just too scared now...i know he loves me, but he freaked out.

so i guess i just have to lay low for a while. sometimes i feel like im being so unfair to myself, but i love him...and as much as i would love to say that i wont wait for him, and ill move on...i wont. i know i cant change him, but how long do i wait for him to grow some balls and take a risk? its a constant battle between trying to save myself from hurt, and fighting for something that i want w/ all my heart...and something i know he wants too, but just wont let himself have it.

Boy-oh-boy,
I, of course, don't know either one of you, but I'm getting some really bad vibes off of this.

Be careful. Be very careful. Go slow.

Guess it depends on why you broke up in the first place. People don't change in three months ya know.

Most people don't change at all!

haha i dont blame you for getting bad vibes...its a bad situation! i decided im not going to talk to him for a while...he's really busy with his family and moving, and im busy w/ university school work...we both have very separate lives, and if its meant to be, we'll connect them in time. of course, i would love a quick fix...i had a glimpse of what we could have the other night...but i dont want to scare him off. ive been doing some research on commitment phobia and im thinking he may show some symptoms of that...i dont know how 'real' that stuff is tho...im a bit of a skeptic. anyhow, i left it at the next time he wants to do dinner to call me. so i will wait. in the mean, ill try to move on...AGAIN, but i know i'll still be waiting.

Amanda--

You've made a very mature and sensible plan--now stick with it.

Congratulations on clear thinking.

Hold your dominion.

Hi Amanda,

What Noddy said.

Meanwhile, it's nice to see you talk about a guy positively for a change.

What I would LOVE to see you do -- but seems fairly unlikely from your posts here (if you surprise me, great!) -- would be to just be single for a while. Like decide not to bother with dating, hook-ups, NOTHING for *gasp* three months.

I can go into my reasoning if you're interested, but when I started to write it it got preachy, so I'll just leave it at that for now.