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Mon 13 Sep, 2004 11:17 pm
short version... my boyfriend calls me a flirt and a tease...
im 19 and in college. i am a virgin by choice and will continue to remain that way until i believe it is the right time and i am truly ready. that said, my friends and i are at the age where, albeit immature, we can find a way to twist everything so it becomes dirty, kinky, or sexual. usually it just provides a few laughs and then we move on. but lately my boyfriend has been more and more affected by my words. everything i say/do that can be remotely linked to sexuality is the basis for me being a tease, because im essentially all talk and no action. (well thats not true. weve gone pretty far besides sex and the problem is talk of actual sex with no action.)
i feel like im placing the blame on my friends, but when all of our conversations have the innuendos as an undertone, then do i choose new friends, abstain from conversations (thereby distancing myself from the group) or just censor my speech more severely?
Re: words vs actions
kcroxyoursox wrote:short version... my boyfriend calls me a flirt and a tease...
im 19 and in college. i am a virgin by choice and will continue to remain that way until i believe it is the right time and i am truly ready. that said, my friends and i are at the age where, albeit immature, we can find a way to twist everything so it becomes dirty, kinky, or sexual. usually it just provides a few laughs and then we move on. but lately my boyfriend has been more and more affected by my words. everything i say/do that can be remotely linked to sexuality is the basis for me being a tease, because im essentially all talk and no action. (well thats not true. weve gone pretty far besides sex and the problem is talk of actual sex with no action.)
i feel like im placing the blame on my friends, but when all of our conversations have the innuendos as an undertone, then do i choose new friends, abstain from conversations (thereby distancing myself from the group) or just censor my speech more severely?
I wouldn't censor myself unless you say things you wish you hadn't said often. But, I would acknowledge my bf's discomfort, by making mention of his feelings when I say such and such,
because we both know this is only talk with no action intended as followup... Look him in the eyes and say it every time you think your innuendo is potentially risque' and eventually it'll be your groups inside joke.
You aren't responsible for how he feels listening to what you say, unless you are saying them deliberately to rile him up. He is always responsible for how he recieves
any message. Jmo, fwiw. PP
I agree with Princess.
Good luck
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