When friends with benefits becomes marriage

Reply Mon 15 Aug, 2016 12:52 am
I have a BBW as a FWB, we know each other for 2 years. At first we went out as friends with sex. But lately i have grown feelings for her and her as well. We talked about marriage recently and at first i was like "Ok, why not?!"

But now i feel like am i rushing into things and starting to regret confessing my feelings to her. Several times i tried to hint at her that i want to back out of this marriage planning.

I'm afraid of hurting her if i tell her straight that i want to maintain FWB relationship with her and she might do something crazy like suicide or things like this.

So if there is anyone out there reading this post, please give me some best suggestions to end this relationship or how am i to break it to her that this is taking things too fast.

Please advise
Reply Mon 15 Aug, 2016 06:49 am
Man, this is 0 to 60!

I still don't understand how people go from let's **** on occasion to I love you without getting to know each other in the meantime. And this one skipped the I love you part anyway.

Here are your choices:
  1. End it completely. If you're going to do this, then do it ASAP and don't dick her around. It's cruel.
  2. Tell her you want to date and romance between the FWB and fiancé stage. And then do it. Go out to dinner or a movie or the like. Spend some money and some time out of bed. Don't be an FWB. Be a boyfriend.
  3. Try to go back to FWB. Prepare for it to end.
  4. Tell her you are fine in your current situation and don't want to get married after all. Prepare for it to end.
  5. Do nothing and dick her around for a year or however long it takes her to wake up and smell the coffee. Watch it end.

So! You don't have a lot of choices and most of them don't go in a happy direction. And the last one is really just a nasty version of the first.

Essentially, she has told you to **** or get off the pot. I highly doubt you can successfully return to the status quo.
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Reply Mon 15 Aug, 2016 08:36 am
Do a L-O-N-G engagement.

You need to get to know this gal. You just know one part of her that works - that not enough to base a marriage!

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Reply Mon 15 Aug, 2016 11:13 am
If I were in this situation I would end it. I would end it quickly, I would meet in person... be direct and straightforward that I was very sorry, and I didn't want to hurt her and that I felt things were going in a bad directly. I would then break off all contact (for at least 3 months).

Breaking up is a part of life. It sucks, but it happens all the time. The best way to do it is to do it completely with no games and no uncertainty. It hurts, but we all get over it.

As I see it, the only other possible solution would be call off the marriage and say you want to date for a while. I would only do this if I was serious; meaning I had real feelings for her and was willing to work to build the relationship.

Either way you have to be honest and direct. Anything else is dishonest and cruel.
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