Mon 8 Aug, 2016 07:52 pm
Hi, I'm 16, live in California, and I'm unsure if I can call CPS on my mom? My mom never protected me from my emotionally abusive father when I was little (my dad screamed at me and my little brother over tiny things constantly). She doesn't buy food that I eat, only food for her, her boyfriend, and my brother (a fact I'm unsure matters). I am picky, but the foods I eat are not hard to find in stores (yet she also pretends that the stores never have what I eat.) I've gone off my daily medication before, and I went off for over a month because I was too scared to let my mom know because I am positive she would have yelled/said some mean things. Near the end of this month that I was off my daily medication, I overdosed on sleeping pills as an attempt to kill myself. This was in a response to my mom saying she didn't believe my dad yelled at me. (Which was a major insult, considering she knows that he yells any chance he gets, and he used to yell at her when she lived with him as well.) I tried to tell my mom about overdosing, but when I told her I had taken too much medication, she immediately started yelling at me and being angry. Her excuse for this nowadays is that I was "unresponsive." But I don't understand why she didn't take me to the hospital if she believed that. The whole reason I talked to her was so she would take me to the hospital (which is less than 2 miles away from where I live.) The next morning, I was still having bad effects such as hallucinations, and my mom was the one who told me I was hallucinating. (She still didn't take me to the hospital, and sent me to school anyways.) When she's asked about this by someone, she says she "kept me home a day." (I have proof she didn't, texts and witnesses of me being at school.) My mom has also told my grandmother (an adult I trust, and wish I lived with) that I cut for my grandmother's attention. I have scars littering my leg because of my depression, and she still said this. My grandma has depression as well (she has medication) but because my mom doesn't, she considers me and my grandma lazy and not hardworking enough. When my mom first found out I was cutting, it was after she screamed at me to see my arm and yelled at me. She did not apologize, or change her behavior. Instead she told me whole family about it, and didn't even get me a psychiatrist until 6 months later. She also constantly makes "jokes" at my expense. Many of these are about how "lazy" I am. I have diagnosed depression and anxiety, which lowers my energy level significantly, yet my mom thinks that I should always have the energy to walk 3-4miles a day. And if I don't, she gets mad. My mom also constantly makes me walk my service dog in training more than my dog needs, leaving me exhausted. She has also threatened to take my dog away, even when I've done a small thing with no relation whatsoever to my dog. (I do need my dog for my anxiety/panic attacks, as well as relief for my depression.) My mom constantly uses tones with me, however, if I use one with her, she starts shrieking about how I'm "yelling" at her. Her boyfriend is also rude and creepy, he never wears shirts, constantly leaves the house filthy, and he's gone as far as to threaten to kick my brother. (My brother DID kick my moms boyfriend, which is why the boyfriend said it, but my brother is 13 and significantly smaller than the boyfriend.) My mom said nothing in response to this, even though she heard and watched it happen. She also expects me to clean up her and her boyfriend's messes, while my brother doesn't get these chores. (His chores are things like "take a bath!") This would be fine with me, if my mom didn't make it look like a tornado swept through the house. It's never (ever!) clean anymore, unless guests are coming over. My mom also punishes me if I am unable to complete chores and constantly brings me down when I feel ok. Whenever I am singing or drawing, she comes up with some chore I have to do or some insult to throw at me. One time, I forgot my cleats at school before a soccer game (the field was 10min away) and when I asked what to do, she started screaming about how I was ungrateful towards her, because she feeds me (sometimes) and clothes me and takes me to school. (And maybe I am because she treats me so rudely, but those are parental requirements, not her going out of her way.) My mom also pays a therapist to listen to me, then violate patient-therapist confidentiality, (which is another major issue) and tell my mom what I said. I asked my therapist about if I should call CPS, and she told my mom I was thinking about calling. There are many more instances but I don't want to make this list even longer. This is not a complete list of how she treats me, but I still feel like it might not be severe enough to call CPS.
Call your grandmother and see if you can live with her before you do anything else.
She would love to have me live there, but my mom would never agree to it
Your mother seems overwhelmed in parenting you. Give her a break. She is just unprepared to handle all your issues.
Don't want to live with mom and BF? Then ask your grandmother to take guardianship of you. Your mother can simply sign the papers, but if she won't then you must go thru the courts.
You and grandma may petition family court. The judge will ask you where you want to live. Your grandmother will have to prove that she CAN take care of you. (financial, etc.) AND assure the court that she will make sure you will take your meds, continue counseling and attend school. Can you agree to that?
CPS may want to do a home visit to your grandmothers, too.