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Sat 11 Sep, 2004 02:33 pm
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.
"Magic Beer," he says
She thinks he is a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "that isnt really Magic Beer, is it ?"
" Yes, I'll show you."
He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady cant believe it: " I bet you cant do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Giver her one of what I am havin."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body,
and dies.
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, " You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you are drunk."
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PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIRE
A tragic fire on Sunday destroyed the personal library of President
George W. Bush.
Both of his books have been lost.
A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, as he had
not finished coloring the second one.
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pilfered from Cicerone Imposter
Blatantly stolen from Cicerone Imposter
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Top 10 Polite Ways To Say Your Zipper Is Down, from David Letterman
10. The cucumber has left the salad.
9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..
6. Elvis is leaving the building.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with
Venus.
And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped.....
1. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".
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edgar, The first one is a doozer. LOL
hi, c. i. ! i see you are back from the balcans. i'm glad to hear you did not start another war ??? i see that you are visiting the anartic when it's summer there; isn't that cheating a bit ? i thought we could send you some pemmican for your rations, but i imagine you'll be well looked after (but still no pemmican). glad to see you back here !!! hbg
Thanks, hbg. The Balkans were really fascinating. In addition to revisiting Budapest for three days, we were treated to three home hosted lunches (in Hungary, Croatia and Bulgaria), saw Tito's tomb, learned about some of the history of the region, met some interesting people, drank some good local beers, and got some good pictures. There were enough leisure time on the boat to relax and enjoy the Danube, listen to a fantastic piano player on the boat, see several cultural shows, and got pretty good service from the boat staff. Ate lot of food with paprika.
That Superman joke is really funny
Now that CI is back, my source of jokes to post has virtually dried up. Oh well, it was worth it. It was as though someone had ripped a hole in a2k when he was gone.
edgar, You just made yourself a lifelong amigo.
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at
first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the
following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time".
"You foul-mouthed, sex-obsessed SWINE," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives!!!"
"Hey coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a
justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I'm bone to be wild.
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.
"Boat For Sale"
Thibodaux was driving his car past Beaudreaux's house and saw a Sign that read: "Boat For Sale". "Thibodaux marches up to Beaudreaux's front porch and wraps hard on the door and Beaudreaux opens it. Thibodaux say, "Beaudreaux ! How long we ban
frands ? "Beaudreaux say, "Well.........All our lives Thibideaux" Thibodaux say, "Why don't you told me you gotta boat?" Beaudreaux say, "I ant gotta boat !" Thibodaux say, "Da' sign say; "BOAT FOR SALE". Beaudreaux say, " OH-NO Thibodaux !" ....See dat old '72 ford pickem'up truck over-dare" Thibodaux say, "yas, I see dat old pickem'up truck" Beaudreaux say, "See dat '76 Cheverloet Ce-dan" Thibodaux say, "yas, I see dat Ce-dan" Beaudreaux say, "Well, dey boat for sale.
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