Realizing I am the "other woman" ...homewrecker

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I have been going out with a guy for about 4 months. I fell in love with him last year but because of his busy lifestyle, I never had the chance to actually date him. This year, however, he came back into my town and he asked me out, giving me his number. I did not give him my number initially b/c I did not have a cellphone and I live at home with my parents.

We connected so well, we always had fun together, and our love for one another was strong. He talked about wanting to marry me in the future and gave me a beautiful ring as a sign of his devotion. He also didn't pressure me to have sex, which was another good sign to me that he loved me. He gave me many little gifts...not really expensive ones, but ones more from the heart - things that he knew I liked.

Now that I look back maybe there were a few signs that he wasn't being faithful. Many times he would not even answer his phone and we would schedule dates and he would cancel (not often but enough to make me a little suspicious).

I had been calling him this week and he did answer the phone Monday but was very short with me. I called him Wednesday and Thursday but could not get ahold of him. Well alas I get up early Friday and get a phone call. This lady asks who I am and I say "Who are you?" and she says "That's what I thought" and hangs up. I call her up and she informs me that she is my boyfriend's girlfriend. I am like "WTF."

Anyway, this is all just too weird to me. It turns out that he has been living with another woman the whole time we were going out. I just can't believe it took this lady this long to figure out what was going on and it was also weird that she got a hold of his phone b/c he goes NOWHERE without it. Now, I am just full of mixed emotions: confusion, sadness, anger, etc...the really sad thing is that he hasn't even got the nerve up to call me and at least apologize or do something to explain why he was such a huge liar for those 4 months. I don't know if I should just say "screw you" and don't bother talking to him anymore or if I should try calling him and at least giving him a good piece of my mind. What do ya'll think?

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he's a SELFISH COWARD. i'm sorry you ever met him. he knew exactly what he was doing all along. i hope you forget him and i hope the other gal does too. move on, hon.

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So far, do you only have this woman's word to go on? It's likely true, but it's not definitely true.

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Don't think about four months wasted. Think of this summer as a crash course in the Perfidity of Philandering Men.

For the rest of your life you'll see romantic inconsistances from a mile away.

You and his Live In Girlfriend--I hope his former Live In Girlfriend--have my sympathy.

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PamO. wrote:

he's a SELFISH COWARD. i'm sorry you ever met him. he knew exactly what he was doing all along. i hope you forget him and i hope the other gal does too. move on, hon.

Oh I want to move on more than anything. The really sad thing is I really loved this guy. A guy that I used to be friends with (and had no idea that I was going out with my former b/f for 4 months until I told him) that knows my former b/f confirmed that he does have a gf (so it's not just from the woman's mouth). He told me that this lady has an awful attitude and is very possessive (which is why I really can't believe it took her 4 months to discover his cheating ways). My former b/f works hard at his job but financially struggles. This guy told me that this woman supports him for the most part...I guess a small, very generous part of me feels sorry for him despite the fact that he lied to me because my friend said that he does not seem to really love this woman. And it is sad that he cannot break free from her because of his financial difficulties. I think in the end he really loved me but the relationship was doomed from the beginning because of his past.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make excuses for him. He should have never asked me out in the first place and stayed with me for 4 months, knowing deep down that we could never be together.

One time he told me "I dreamed that we were married. Then I woke up and I'm like "Oh my god." I look at that comment differently now as apparently he had this dream about being married to me, then woke up and saw his woman and realized everything between us would always be just a fantasy.

Boy oh boy. Noddy you are so right in that at least this was a great learning experience for me. I am only 20 years old but this was the first time I had felt so much love for another man. Oh well, more heartbreak and joy are around the corner.

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well, speaking as a man, I am certainly glad that women never exhibit this kind of behavior.

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catsissues--

Worse and worse--he was courting you using her money? What an inspiring way for him to demonstrate his rugged independence.

If his wronged woman chucks his lazy, two-timing bones out on the street, remember even if you can support him in the style to which he has become accustomed, cheaters cheat. That's the nature of the beast.

As long as you know joy and heartbreak are just around the corner, you'll do just fine.

Hold your dominion.

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Honey... Revenge is best served COLD!

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I knew I should've taken that damn phone with me!

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I'd say the 'screw you' applies---

If he's not faithful to the woman he's living with, he certainly won't be faithful to you either.

Talk about your raw sewage---flush him and quickly.

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Catsissues,
Oh Honey, I feel so badly for you!

I know you're hurting but you really do need to be strong and drop him like a hot potato and then stay away from the carbs.

You'll go through a phase of grieving, but you'll come to see it as Noddy says, as a great big learning experience.

Be strong....just say "No", everytime he calls. Change your phone number, move if you have to. Just stay away from him.

If a man cheats on you before marriage he will certainly not hesitate to do so once you're married either. Dating is the testing period, remember. If they are scum before marriage, they stay scum. Trust me, I know.

Prayers winging for strength and comfort for you.

And as Noddy always says,
Hold your domininon.

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Realizing I am the "other woman" ...homewrecker

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