Matrix, good news about the house sale closing soon. Hooray!!!
I don't know if you've thought about trying this, but on a recent inheritance, we actually received three payments. The preliminary one (about half) was just to get some cash into the hands of those who needed it desperately, then the other half came later when the estate was all settled. A bit had been held back for taxes, etc, so when all was finally settled, a third check arrived (a small one) with the tax forms, etc.
Sometimes people will stop complaining once they get some cash to play with. At least they'll be distracted for a while.
That's what we've been doing - the first payments were sent to each of the silblings by Social Security (they divided my m-i-l's remaining benefits then mailed them out). When the house deal closes they will each receive a check from that sale, and then when everything else is finalized and the lawyer fees and any other fees that may occur are paid, the remaining cash will be divided and checks will be mailed. Still, some people - like the sister in law from hell and her husband - will never be satisfied and will always be there to cause trouble along the way. Remember, she's the one who told her husband to pick up the Trust papers (only a partial copy, luckily) at the time my m-i-l was actually receiving Last Rites...
My m-i-l actually had everything pretty much in order when she died, but because she had diversified so many of her accounts, a small number of them hadn't been entered into the Trust before her death. She'd been in the process of doing all of that with my husband's help when the cancer she'd only found out she had about a couple of weeks before, made her too ill to go out and finish what she'd begun. With my husband's POA, he was able to tie up a lot of the loose ends for her, but some places required her physical presence to make the changes because she was in the middle of a move, and that just wasn't going to happen. Everything just happened too quickly.
The cemetery plots are being sold because there is a lot of animosity between some of the siblings and for any of them to be used would require a majority agreeement - again, that's not going to happen unless it's for selling them.
And here's something some of you may not know-- If the deceased is a veteran, the VA will pay for their burial in a National Cemetery. they provide the plot, the headstone, the ceremony and all. They even paid for two thirds of the cremation cost. That was a nice surprise.
That's what my dad received, although my mom bought a dual plot for them and had a marker made for herself, too. Still, I think the out of pocket cost my mom had to pay wasn't a lot as far as funeral expenses go. It was still a lot of money because she made arrangements for herself at the same time, but I still think she came out pretty good.
I hope that the coming year will bring sweet memories and happier new experiences for both of us and our families. This has proven to be a hard year to live through, but we made it and I think our dads (and my m-i-l) would be proud of us. At least I'd like to think so...