Meet Miss Coney Island 2004!

Edit [Moderator]: Moved from General to Humor.



Ain't she purty? Her name is Insectivora, and I was at the competition last night, which was a burlesque show. I fell in love with Insectivora the moment I saw her name on the contestant list/voting card that we were all handed as we walked in.

We were ushered into a small theater where an ebullient host in a red suit introduced us to the eight contestants. Other contestants included World Famous Bob (a very large woman with incredibly huge floppy breasts), Ophelia Rottencrotch (a man dressed as a skanky whore with a dangling cigarette in his mouth, crap stains on the back of his dress and something yellowy-white on the crotch in front), among other mostly plus-sized women with no qualms about showing every ripple of fat and cellulite that they had.

They all did a three to four minute little burlesque skit, in which they took off their clothes in interesting fun ways. World Famous Bob did a hilarious rendition of the Jenifer Beals water scene from Flashdance, which won the crowd over, and another girl did a thing where she got naked, some other girl came walking on stage with an ice cream cone, they each took a lick of the cone from opposite sides, and then had a sexy lesbian tongue wrestling match. Awesome.

Insectivora, as you can imagine, was interesting to see as she took off her clothes. Much, MUCH ink on that girl's body, which, although you can't tell from the picture, was veeeeery nice. Then she took off her black panties, and...I'm not sure how to say this...something was hanging down from her...well, I think you can guess.

She looked down, seemingly embarassed. Then she pulled a pirate flag out of her...well you know. And then another one, and another one, all connected to a long string which ended in her...yeah, you guessed it. It was like when a magician pulls a neverending stream of hankies out of his mouth or something, only waaaaay better.

Now that is talent. Congratulations Miss Coney Island 2004!