The game of dating.

Hi Whisper
You are young! It is highly unlikely that you will enter a long-term relationship at this point in your life. You're only inviting inevitable hurt and emotional distress for yourself if you view every single boy you meet and enjoy spending time with as a potential "life-time" partner.

At this point in your life and through your college years, you should be focusing on your education and simply enjoying life--enjoying new experiences--and meeting people from all kinds of diverse backgrounds. You should go on dates. You should not tie yourself to any particular young man.

The young men you will be meeting and dating are NOT READY for committed relationships. They have wandering eyes and are driven more by their hormones than by emotions. You might be fantasizing about a romance, weddings, houses with white-picket fences . . . and the boy you're dating will be fantasizing about getting into your pants (and he's not thinking beyond that.)

If you lose yourself in romantic fantasies and give your heart away to every boy you date and expect a committed relationship----you will simply experience one hurt right after another. You ought to be dating simply for the sake of dating and getting to know people. With enough dating experience under your belt, you will become a much better judge of character and find out what traits or personality behaviors you find acceptable or unacceptable in a potential life partner.

If you want to date this boy--great. But don't expect him to be the love of your life. Just enjoy yourself.

Yes, it's all about fun at your age. Nothing more. Don't take it too seriously.

There are lots of guys out there...don't close your eyes to the rest of them just because you like this guy. You could like a lot of them, too!

I agree with the above but if you really feel this is who you'd like to be with, then back off a little and remain friends.

Do not let him lose respect in you by letting him use you for "a few kisses" and stuff (more).

When he is ready, he will tell you. Maybe this will blossom into a "relationship" just don't push it. Pushing it guarantees failure in a guy who just got out of a relationship where he felt like he was drowning.

Unlike one would think reading some of the posts above, 18-year old boys sincerely fall in love too ... and have their hearts broken.

(At least that's how it was when my friends and I were eighteen, and that aint all too long ago.)

Then again, I dont know anyone who's still with the person they were in love with when they were eighteen ... you change so much, still.

So, who knows how much love you may find with this guy ... and in a way, you should experience every love as if it were the love of your life. But do take it easy and be a little careful with your own heart, too.

As for "asking questions such as ,'Do you like me? Is this going anywhere?' flat out", heh - well, the first will probably go down better than the second ;-). Still, if it's true that straight-out questions might scare some guys away, it's most likely mostly the guys that wouldn't be in for a proper relationship anyway ... Just be yourself, and talk the way you feel is you. Then the guy you won't scare away is the one who likes you for how you are <smiles>

I completely agree with nimh.

I was in some very serious relationships around that age -- they were not permanent, but I learned things from their very seriousness that served me well when, at age 21, I DID meet the one I'm still with. (A dozen years now.)

I don't think there are any one-size-fit all dictums for this kind of thing -- depends too much on the individual. But if there were, mine would probably be that the first serious relationship you have shouldn't be the one you spend the rest of your life in. You should have a few practice rounds, first.

That said, there's nothing wrong with fun, and lots to recommend it. Do what feels right for you.

Very true, nimh.