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Thu 21 Jul, 2016 11:55 am
Throwaway account.
Okay.
A few years ago when I started law school, I figured I wouldn't have time to hangout with friends the way I would normally like to.
I signed up to a penpal website to meet new people, yadda yadda.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I got a message on Kik from a girl (who we will call Emma) from that website - I completely forgot all about my account.
Emma is from the Czech Republic - one of my favourite European countries - it was one of the reasons I began talking to her in the first place.
Turns out, Emma is one of the funniest girls I have ever spoken to.
We spend a hell of a lot of time talking - texting, calling and Facetiming.
The more I learn about her, the more I think she is exactly the girl I want to be with.
I'm not exaggerating; we have so much in common, more than any other girl I've spoken to.
And she actually finds my jokes funny (my jokes are usually worse than donkey ****).
She's a solid 10/10 - and not just in looks.
I moved to Germany nearly two years ago and will be moving back to London to complete my masters in the next few months so we live quite far apart - flights are cheap anyway and I've always wanted to road trip across Europe!
Long term? I don't know.
We've discussed where we would like to live if we could choose any country - she did say she'd love to live in the UK, so there's that.
I think in the long term, I'd even move to her country if I needed to.
The reason I mention this is to signify that the distance would be only a temporary thing if anything happened between us.
My question:
How do I tell her about my feelings for her?
I know people don't use these websites to hook up or try and find relationships - I didn't when I signed up but I'll regret not telling her.
I know a few weeks isn't a long enough time to declare undying love for someone - not that I would say that I'm in love with her or anything.
Freaking her out by telling her my feelings is the last thing I want to do.
Would it be best to wait a few more weeks/months and see how things go?
Or should I just go nuclear and tell her?
I'm normally competent enough to figure out what to do by myself, but this girl throws me off.
She's different.
@ThrowAway2661,
You haven't met her yet?
Therés nothing to talk about it terms of real feelings yet.
Really. Not.
I'm in a long-term live-in relationship that started online. I'm still telling you - you haven't met - don't be talking about feelings/long-term/relationship stuff yet. It is far far far too soon.
It also sounds like you've got a case of what we used to call the 4B blues. Guys coming to the end of a university stage and wanting some kind of relationship stability. I was engaged to three different guys when they got the 4B blues decades ago. It's happened to a friend's daughter twice. It has always happened and will always happen. So yeah, it's a bit of a cliche.
__
If you think there might be something more than on-line hormones, ask her if she'd consider meeting you in the middle in a couple of months. Find out what she's willing to invest in a potential relationship or friendship.
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