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Bf keeps doing shady things online

 
 
Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2016 01:37 pm
My bf and I have been together for about 8 years. Throughout this whole time I have found various sites he's been on (hot or not, bangme.net, plenty of fish, tinder etc) as well as a whole slew of nudes pics he's saved on his server. Most of the nude pics were ex gfs and dating back 15 years. 6 years ago I busted him for everything and he said he deleted everything. Fast forward to last year when I found his pof and tinder. openly talking to girls and explaining he coulnd't met them because of "baby mama drama". I confronted him, he deleted everything in front of me. This weekend I found that while he's sitting with our children and I'm sleeping or not home he's browsing and downloading porn (i don't care so much about random porn) and browsing, and saving nudes from imagur and reddit. I had found reddit crap months ago and explained how it made me feel that while I'm laying in bed waiting for him he's puttin g forth energy to search and hide various nude girls pics. He said he understood. This past weekend he left his tablet at home. He had been taking 2 hour long showers and staying in the living room for hours before bed so i was curious. I found various pics and movies. I also found recent pics of an ex gf who has been an issue from the start of mine and his relationship. Then the icing on the cake was finding nudes he had taken of himself (3 of them, one of his face, one full frontal nude and one of just his penis) that I had never seen before. I'm assuming he's sent them to girls because why else would you take nudes?? He's not answering my question of why he took them, or why all of a sudden there's pics of his ex saved on his precious server... I have no one to talk to about this because I'm humiliated. Any advice is appreciated. What the hell am I supposed to do??
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jespah
 
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Reply Mon 11 Jul, 2016 04:17 pm
@Janabean427,
Decide whether you want to stay, and what will be best for your children.

If you need to stay, then things have got to change. That probably means couples counseling. Get it out in the open with an impartial third party observer about why this is such a serious problem. Maybe he needs to hear it from someone else who doesn't have a vested interest? I don't know. Certainly you two need to have a conversation about him being untrustworthy.

If you need to leave, then consider how you will afford that. It's possible, but the end of relationships often changes economic conditions, particularly for children. Hate to say it, but it's true. If that's okay, then by all means go. If it's not, then consider how to make it okay, whether that means taking a class to find a way to get a more lucrative job, or moving in with your folks if they are still alive, or sharing custody, or anything else. Breaking up when you have kids is a different ball of wax from breaking up when you don't, but it's not an impossibility.

I'm sorry this is happening.
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