Married people went wrong.

Forums: Relationships, Sex, Marriage, Cheating, Love
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For those who doesn't remember story there it is in snap.
50 years old married woman with gown up children meeting a married man with grown up children (business relations) and it is love from first site.
Affair starting after 5 years. Both getting guilty feelings and decided to stop.
Months goes without except they are seeing each other every other day for business purposes.
Finally she dissolving her business and they stop meeting.
About 6 months goes without any communications.
Then she texted him for business related stuff (he is the only one who sells things that she needs for the house) and texting and calling renewed.
For a whole year she (I am) never contacting him but he is texting and calling and expressing his feelings in a way that 'I love you but you know we can't hurt our families but talking to you makes me feeling alive and nothing else does'...
So...it is going on several times per week with her tears and his frustration.
I had learn to live and embrace my sweet torture so did he.
We are so close and so far apart.
I went to counseling and church and I am trying to get it behind me but 24/7 I am thinking of him and apparently he does the same because every time possible he is reaching out to me.
It is not anymore sexual. It is emotional and my question is to you - where are we going? It is not that he wants to get me in the sack! We have this connection when we can just be silent on the phone. I know what he thinking and he knows me inside out. Just venting. Maybe someone can tell IF you have the same experience. We are an adults with responsibilities. However...it is going to be 8 years of heartache. Why?

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 2,434 • Replies: 20

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@Eliusa,

Since you apparently have some reverence for God, ask yourself this question:

Does he ever think that love is wrong?

1 Reply

@Leadfoot,

I don't know much yet. I am learning. I work at convent and also I had been sent to work at catholic nursing home. And I m not catholic, I don't care, to me God is one for all.
No love isn't wrong but it feels like crap because I am living a lie.
When people go crazy after 2 month meeting each other and demending divorce from their partners it is crazy wrong.
But when man doesn't lure you into the sack and just acting respectfully and
never gets upset over you not being able to meet for coffee and 'sugar' but keeps asking how is your life, how are you feeling and if you are safe to talk...
I respect that and somehow I am feeling it is wrong! But I cant take my brain out and rearrange it so that 'thing' will be gone.
What so you say? Thanks for respond

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Been in the same position. Found myself married and loving another woman (also married). My feelings for my wife had not changed at all and did not feel any need to have sex with the other woman although I loved her as deeply as my wife.

I was unable to live dishonestly either so I did tell my wife how I felt. It's funny how having sex (if it was just a fling) can be forgiven but love cannot. I stayed married but we were divorced a decade later for other reasons.

Making the decision to be honest about how I felt was not easy, caused me 10 kinds of pain and it changed my life life forever. But I have no regrets.

There is no handbook on how to handle this but I'd be happy to answer questions if you have them and wish you all the best.

Leadfoot

2 Replies

@Leadfoot,

You are a Godsend. I will talk to you privately if you don't mind because I know soon sharks will come out...LOL Thanks

0 Replies

@Leadfoot,

I forgot how to pm! It had been a while...getting older sucks! Help! Smile

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Hmm, I've only responded to PMs never originated them here. On other sites you bring up the profile (click on their screen name) of who you want to pm and there is a link to pm there. Try that.

1 Reply

@Leadfoot,

I did. You've got mail. Smile

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@Eliusa,

He wants to instill a sense of guilt his act, that's all.

1 Reply

@kokokel,

No, he does feeling guilty so I am but it doesn't change anything.
We are still talking and I dont think anything can change that.
We talk about life in general. He tells me he misses me and loves me
but there is no sex involved. Impossible? Wrong! I am living it for 7 years.

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@Eliusa,

I just know what your heart says to you just do it go ahead with your internal feeling leave all your tension just go for it dude.

1 Reply

"talking to you makes me feeling alive and nothing else does'..."

He is content to be energized with just your texts. That's enough for him. He has given you all the commitment he can.

If this is not enough for you, then end it. Otherwise, be content with just texts. He's using you, verbally.

2 Replies

@PUNKEY,

I am ok with that now. I don't know what is going on but he is calling me every day and we are having so many minutes of fun and joy.

Now I am thinking if he is getting into me seriously - I am going to make up my
mind one day.

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

I talk to my AP every day. I don;t try to predict what will happen in the future, I just enjoy the moment. Good luck to you!

1 Reply

@kumaramit,

Thanks. I need all support I can get. And yes - heart is aching and there aren't meds to cure it, just alcohol! LOL

0 Replies

@PUNKEY,

No! We are making plans to get together and talk.
He said just say a word and I come anywhere you want me to be.
And I KNOW if we meet we can have cup of coffee and if I say no
sex - there would be none. Not everything is black and white. Thanks

1 Reply

@Tiger81,

Same here. No demands. Future will tell. But at least I have LOVE!

0 Replies

@Eliusa,

I think you should have a face to face talk. Texting and phone calls are great, but to read the other person's expressions is priceless!

1 Reply

@Tiger81,

Oh we had for years! And planning to have some however
my schedule wouldn't permit as of yet.
Trust me for 7 years there were lots going on.
Smile

1 Reply

@Eliusa,

Keep on truck'n Eliusa...

1 Reply

Married people went wrong.

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