Fri 1 Jul, 2016 10:49 pm
I'm working at the front desk of this office for the summer. I work next to this guy, also just a summer student like me but from a different university.
I really thought this guy liked me, all the typical signs were there. He would stare at me a lot. He would do things like follow me into a room, without having any reason to go there himself if I went in there to do some random task, or throw rubber bands at me. Actually the first week I was there, he asked to take a walk and grab some coffee around 3:30 (we finish at 4), but I totally misinterpreted this and thought he was telling me to take a break from photocopying (I didn't realize he meant we would go together), so my response was something like 'oh, I can probably just start on the next batch'. Did he realize I misinterpreted? Anyways, since then we've both asked to grab coffee with each other (him once, me twice).
Sometimes, when there was nothing to do, we would play two player board games with our computers. I like to get work done in between plays, so he would do this weird thing where he would stare at me after making his move (I'd turn, notice him staring, and then make my move). A few games after, he started taking forever to make his move, so long that the game would time out (I'd never take that long, that the game actually timed out).
Anyways one day, I decided to just take a chance. I messaged him out of the blue on facebook and asked if he was doing anything after work on monday. He replied with 'we might have hockey, but I'm not positive. what's up?'. Me: 'Nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to see a movie or something'. Him: 'we do have hockey :/ sorry about that!'. Me: 'That's okay, thanks anyways.' Him: 'See you Monday!'
The following week was really weird for me, mostly because I felt so embarrassed. I ended up ignoring him for most pretty much the whole week, unless I absolutely had to talk to him. During that whole week, he kept calling me over to look at random things on his computer (we did this before too, but not as often) and initiated almost every conversation. I tried to be normal, but I was feeling so mortified and embarrassed, a lot of my answers were pretty non-committal. I work at the front desk, but my work isn't really related to anything he does. This week, I had to leave the office quite a bit to talk to people and do various tasks (usually I never have to leave the office). And everytime I had to go, he would ask me where I'm going, how long I'd be gone for, who I'm meeting etc. which is kindof weird because like I said, our work is completely unrelated (I'm pretty much there due to desk space). Another weird thing he said to me was during this week actually. A good guy friend of mine had to come by the office for something, and ended up talking with me for a few minutes. After my friend left, this guy told me 'you should ask him to a movie.'
We've started playing games again on our computers, but he's weird about that too. He'll ask to start a game, but take forever to make his move (on the first turn!). Most of our games time out. I've gotten jokingly mad about this, but he'll tell me that 'sometimes he forgets' and 'I'm so impatient'.
A few times I had to show him something on his computer, I was standing beside him while he was sitting, and he was like 'come closer.' It's not like I make a conscious effort to lean away from him, but I thought this was kindof weird to say (is he mocking the fact that I don't feel comfortable around him?). He still stares at me often too, especially when I'm talking to other people.
I asked my friend for advice regarding this, and she convinced me to ask him out again. So I messaged him after work and just sent him this funny video, and we messaged back and forth a bit about his hockey team. I was building to ask him out, but he never replied to my last message (which he saw the next morning), so I never actually got the chance. The next morning at work, I asked him to grab a coffee with me (we just walked there, grabbed coffee and came back).
I'm not sure where we stand. I've already asked him out once and messaged him first both times! I mean if he really liked me, he would have asked me out by now right? I feel like I've done enough, and a part of me is a bit hesitant since I've never dated anybody before and even if things worked out, this guy is moving away after two months anyways (he lives here, but has to move back for the last year of his degree).
Should I just leave things as they are and enjoy the work relationship? Why does he do the things that he does? Why ask someone to play, and then not play 2 second later? I'm so confused
tl;dr: I asked out my coworker. He treats me kindof weirdly, and I'm not sure how to treat him?
Didn't you get any good answers the last time you asked?