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Fri 10 Jun, 2016 12:46 am
I'll give a bit of background to my issue...
Me and my girlfriend have been together for about 18 months and our relationship is great, I honestly couldn't ask for anything to be better than what it is, but I had a question that I would like someone to weigh in on.
As a couple, we usually have quite a high sex drive towards each other and are intimate every couple of days, recently however, it's maybe once every couple of weeks. She thinks it's the contraceptive pill that she's on which can cause a fall in sex drive. Anyway, that isn't the issue, we are looking to rectify that by perhaps trying something else, however I've noticed a behavioural issue from my half.
Due to how frequent we would have sex and how that has changed, I don't think I've adjusted and now when we are together at some point or another, I find myself asking myself if we'll have sex today and more thinking out of hope that we will rather than expecting to and if I advance and it doesn't happen or she's not really feeling it, I find myself feeling dejected and a bit rejected and put off and it makes her feel guilty that she doesn't want to because up until recently, she would.
I don't like how this is happening from my viewpoint, she says its fine and not to worry, but that is not the sort of man I want to be. I'd rather not be expecting to have sex, and if it happens, have it be an "Okay, awesome, this is happening" kind of moment if that makes sense?
I'm just looking for maybe some advice or a strategy to stop this and maybe change my outlook on it all. I've tried myself, but I'm not sure where to start
@JimShoes,
Birth Control pills rendered me a basket case. I lost all sensitivity, suffered with crippling leg and foot pain. I had to stop. Not every women can use birth control pills, its dangerous if you smoke and 20 years ago my Aunt dropped dead after a crippling stroke the ME blamed on birth control pills.
Look for a different method, even if it means you need to assume responsibility for a raincoat.
Perfectly normal to have thoughts of pending sex - so don't feel bad about that.
You don't say how old you two are, but 18 months is not a long time to be involved. But there is an expected decline in sex as other things begin to develop and become just as important to a woman: you get to know each other better, sharing hopes, dreams, goals, intimacy (without sex), thoughtfulness, consideration, attention, etc.
Be sure that your relationship is in good shape before you blame her drop in sex drive on the pill.
@JimShoes,
Just shake it up a little. Have her dress up for you, get a haircut, make dinner, workout, maybe get a little more aggressive. Just do something you don't normally do for the hell of it. Get blindfolded, play a sex game, use whip cream. After a while sex gets less fun. Not that it gets boring but in relationships it's like riding the same exact roller coaster over and over again. Sometimes you gotta add something to make it interesting again.
@glitterbag,
The birth control pills interfered with your aunt's smoking?
@InfraBlue,
I guess you could say that, when she died she couldn't smoke ever again.
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