I just don't know

I'm not really sure what my question is...or if I'm even going to make sense. I think I just need to write...I met a man a year ago that I can honestly say I knew I would marry. It was immediate for me. Flash forward a year and we are getting married. This year has been difficult for us. I lost my job (found a new one months later, very stressful, horrible company). He had his own business and made some bad investments and now needs to start from scratch. This happened months ago. We both come from different countries & religion. Note I'm not religious. Anyhow, things are too much stress, fights and I don't know what I want anymore...I know I love him and he's deep in my soul but can it be someone you meet that you instantly knew you were going to marry just we'll lose the feeling?
I'm losing this feeling over his reaction to him talking to his ex. I've accepted it for a while but it just seems too much for me. They talk to often. It bothers me. There's no kids involved, nothing. As an adult I know I need to accept this but he has to accept my issue with it. In love there's physical, mental, emotion and spiritual. For me I know he would never cheat but this 'friendship' seems to push to mental, emotional...who knows. He swears he's not talking to her but duhhhh technology doesn't lie. I can see the calls on your phone. Now after a month long fight I've noticed he's deleting her number if he calls her. Again I don't know, some might say I'm acting like a child and he's with me and loves me but I can't imagine a life where he talks to another woman and keeps it hush hush from me. I have no issues with colleagues or mutual friends...just her obviously because I feel like they never really moved on...to be honest I think he owes her money and this is why they keep chatting. But he won't tell me. I asked him and he refused to answer. There's something though...
I wrote a post here a month ago about a message I've seen between them and I can honestly say I don't have any feeling left when he touches me...this issue has made me numb. Or maybe it's cause we are both in a stressful situation with money and work. I don't know what I expect from people to answer on here but I think I just need to tell someone that I don't think I love him anymore. I do but I don't. I'm in my late thirties and I have never met a man that I instantly knew I would marry. But now im just so hurt. Confused. In the beginning I thanked God for bringing this amazing man. This feels hopeless...