Reply Tue 31 May, 2016 04:04 pm
I was adopted at birth and never saw my birth dad after 3 weeks. my birth mom lives nearby so i can see her when ever. but i want to find my birth dad so i can be happy. (I suffer from depression and anxiety) i want to know him and see him because i have re accuring dreams of a man in blue shirt and black fancy jeans standing next to me. i don't feel fear but rather anger and guilt and torment and emptyness and then he vanishes. he goes some where that i cannot he is outside my plain of view and he is lost. that's when i wake up (sobbing sometimes) because i feel guilty like it's my fault he left, like if i weren't born they would've stayed together. but then i just want to see him and be happy because if i never find him i will not die of age but rather suicide. (after about age 60 i will think he's dead)
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 885 • Replies: 2
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cicerone imposter
 
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Reply Tue 31 May, 2016 04:40 pm
@CameronM,
You didn't choose to come into this world; your parents were responsible. You should have no guilt. Blaming yourself is not rational.
There might be a reason why your mother doesn't wish for you to meet your father. You can try to find out why.
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neologist
 
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Reply Tue 31 May, 2016 06:22 pm
@CameronM,
CI is spot on. It is so common, almost universal, for a child to view his parents' problems as somehow a fault of his own. But it's totally not your fault.

Your mom may be able to give some insight. Or, do you have a counselor you can talk to?
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