She is away to attend treatment tomorrow apparently my sister has been messaging her.
I never knew for sure if she cheated no one ever said a bad thing about her .
She said she only contacted the lad on match.com later to make sure she never did anything silly.
So to continue the relationship I had to try and trust her.
This time it's bang to rights tounge in mouth stomach churning with a married man.
Am I looking for a reason to go if I didn't love her I would have left a long time ago ..
I just was in a state of shock bye it and hurt and now I need to see if I can look her in the eye and not hate her.
I am hard wired to have an aversion to cheating. I am with the person I am with and that's it. So it feels like I've been sucker punched and all my strength is gone.
I'm on the near side to 40 and a black belt in a tough sort of Karate and I was on the floor of my mother's house in tears .
I have a reason to bail and I have to see if I can just be in the same room now and I will do that because the last 15 years had good and bad and I have to see if the hate and contempt outways the love 😧