TRIAL LAWYERS

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to

the stand
in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know

me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy. And

frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk

about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't
the brains to realize you never

will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing

what else to do he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"

She again

replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. I used to baby sit him for his parents.

And he, too,
has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking
problem. The man can't

build a normal relationship with anyone and his
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he


cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defence attorney was also surprised and

shocked.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the bench. In a

very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If
either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for


contempt."