This is my story. I've read a lot about birth control issues, and all I have seen is Pfizer telling everyone to be careful what you read online, and a long list of very pissed women. I'd like to see how common this story really is.
I started the Ortho-lo pill at 17 (early 2010), when I discovered estrogen-based B.C. just wasnt for me. First of all, i went schitzo, and secondly, apparently people with high risk cancer rates (like myself, mother and grandmother both survivors) shouldn't take ANY kind of estrogen at all. After being on the pill a year already, my doctor decided to tell me this. Great.
"Good news!" she says. "Depo is a new form that is estrogen free, and basically your only option. plus no periods!"
Sounds fantastic right?
So, taking her advice, I started the depo shot when I was 18 (early 2011). I had just moved in with my now-husband back in late 2010, and we didn't even want to think about babies at the time.
(Now I'd like to state this all started at the Health Department. The Ortho and Depo. While I was being seen by the Health dept, they would give me my shot in the arm. Once I received insurance, my doctor at the HOSPITAL told me that it was ridiculous they had been injecting into my arm, and that the reason for injection in the hip rather, was due to the fact that the depo was so strong, it could eat my muscle tissue in my arm. Whaaaat???)
Anyway, Depo it was. Two beautiful period-less years. No cramps, No swings, no dreadful bleeding like everyone else had warned me about. It as wonderful. The only real side effect I had was some weight loss, which was pretty fast, (125-105) but never dropped lower than 105. Muscle loss I figured. (2011-2013)
2013 brought some changes. I had lost my insurance, and was damned to go back to the place that tried to rot my arm off. I was out of work, (I live in a small community thats pretty damn poor anyway) and couldn't afford my shots anymore without coverage. (have you seriously tried living without insurance? Dare ya.)
I was 21 about to be 22, and we had finally discussed children. All my friends were having them now, if not working on their second, and I guess my clock started ticking a little. My husband is a little older than myself, and has no children himself either. (before you say anything, he's been tested. His swimmers are fine) So we decided if we couldn't afford the depo (which at the time was ungodly expensive) we would just stop the birth control all together.(Valentines 2013)
I knew it would take a while to get pregnant, so we went ahead and quit. Money was starting to look up again, and I had all the love and support I needed around me to help with a baby. I was so excited.
My first year without the shot was hard. Getting my body back in swing took a WHILE, and was quite a painful process. I didnt quite have the horror stories everyone else had talked about, but it wasn't good. Bled about 2 months straight, then it took almost a year and a half to get my cycle right again, and its still not quite spot on. I can't exactly calendar it yet, and I've been off 3 years now. It seems every period now brings a lovely UTI as a parting gift, and I've had cysts appear and rupture on my ovaries as well. I've never bled as heavily, or cramped as badly in my life as I do now. Like I said, I weight around 105, and use supers. Yes, SUPERS! Why, I never....
We tried to concieve. A year goes by, no baby. Thats fine. Depo takes a while to wear off. (2014)
Then, July 2015, my stick had blue at the top and bottom of the "yes" line. I was pregnant. YES! FINALLY! I was so happy.
In August, I miscarried. Ok, most women lose their first. This is normal. I'll be ok. (This seems a short period of time to know and lose, but I'm little ok? It doesnt take much to notice body changes, and a never before seen side-boob) Doctor didn't even write my miscarriage in my file because "My HCG was so low I could've eaten something pregnant."
January 2016, I noticed I was a little off. Didnt think anything of it. Flu season, I'm probably just sick.
Husband raises a brow and says "You're nips are a bit dark honey."
"Nah, I'm just cold. I doubt it." Then I missed a period by a bout a week.
"Nerves." said my mother. "You're tense trying to plan a wedding, You'll be ok."
(Oh yeah, we got married last month
Day before Valentines day (2016), there it was. Miss flo came to see me, just like momma said. Except.... Wait, I know what this is. This....isn't a period....
Husband tried so hard that V-day. He tried everything to just make me smile.
I didn't go back to the Dr out of fear that they'd call me a "momma-cow eater" again.
Here I am, sitting here today trying to find answers. I've had two I know of, one I don't wanna know for sure. (this month)
Anyone with any knowledge or personal experience with the shot, that in any way correlates with mine, please speak up. If Pfizer is responsible for stripping women of their instinctual desires to mother, I'd love to have something done about it. I've heard it was a derivative from a chemical other countries have used to sterilize pedophiles and sexual predators, but I'm not sure if it's true.
All I want is a baby. My own childhood was fucked from the get-go, and I just wanna make my baby feel like I never did, ya know?