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Wed 25 Aug, 2004 12:42 am
I'm having trouble with my girlfriend. I'll start off by telling you about her past relationships. She never really had a real relationship. She never really got to know the other person and like hang out much at all. They would barely talk. they'd go a week before they talk. she thought it was a normal relationship until i told her about my past relationships. she thought it was weird that my relationships were like this. My past relationships were what we call normal relationships. We'd always see each other everyday and talked everyday. There wasn't a day i don't remember seeing each other. My girlfriend and I talked about it and she wants me to tell her what to do, but I don't know what to tell her. this is very ddisturbingto me. i don't see how she was in these past relationships. what should i do and tell her? I need major help.
What's the problem?
I don't understand the problem. How long have you been dating?
I don't think it's fair to characterize your girlfriend's past relationships as "abnormal" and your past relationships as "normal." People in a dating relationship may see and/or talk to each other on a "daily" basis or they may not. The amount of time that you spend together depends on how close you are as a couple and how much togetherness that the two of you need.
You're not married and you're not living together. She may be your girlfriend, but she's not required to check in with you everyday nor is she required to see you everyday. She may have other friends and other interests that may consume some of her time. Her entire world (life) does not have to revolve around you. If it did -- I would find that extremely unhealthy.
You don't need to be chained together to be in a relationship. If you're demanding that she give up all her other friends and activities to spend all her free time with you -- if you're demanding that she report to you everyday (which is a control issue) -- maybe you're the one with the problem.
If you will clarify your problem a little better, maybe better insight can be offered.
Ditto what Debra stated. Every relationship is different. There is no reason to see and talk with each other daily and in some cases may not even be possible. Each person in a relationship has different expectations. It appears to me that you and your girlfriend have different expectations. I think the thing you should do is sit down and discuss what your expectations are in your relationship. She may expect to see each other on weekends and maybe talk once or twice during the week, whereas you expect to have daily contact. Hopefully you can meet some where in the middle.
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