New Medication for Women.....

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We all need a little help now and then.....

New Medication for Women.....

D A M I T O L

Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 hours.

St. M A M A' S W O R T

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N

Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they
were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

P E P T O B I M B O

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases
intelligence, and improves flirting.

D U M E R O L

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low
I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.

F L I P I T O R

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N

Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases
resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a
better person ... can we get naked now?"

B U Y A G R A

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping.
Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may
even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.

J A C K A S S P I R I N

Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember
your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone too eager to share their life stories with
total strangers.

S E X C E D R I N

More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not
now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.

R A G A M E T

When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the
wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

Consult your doctor to find out if these medications
are appropriate for you!