Thu 28 Apr, 2016 10:59 pm
This may be to personal and ive never reached out over the internet like this before, but need some serious advice. I am 20 years old never done drugs or drank nor partied. For some reason I have a bad history of relationships with guys I tend to pick the bad boys. 3 years of this was abuse emotionally and physically. My most recent was the most damaging and I thought I'd never recover and a week after this guy goes to jail for 9 months I find out i am pregnant. My whole world changed. I left this guy blocked him and moved far away even though ive been homeless for 8 months trying to survive for my son and I. Hes due in June! Anyways since. Ive been talking to this guy seeing him here and there but for some reason never during the day. He works at Costco and seems to he always working. Hard working man. I wasnt to serious since ive been so focused on myself and my baby boy taking classes and whatever I can to prepare myself. It came to a point that almost 2 months ago he told me he wanted to be a father to my son as his own and to be there for me. He told me he loved me. Keep in mind he was a flake and never saw him in the day really and says he will go to my ultrasound and appointments but never did. I figured he is busy with work and family he doesn't have the time to and maybe he didn't know what he wanted at the time I mean its a huge responsibility to take on myself and a child. The day he said he loved me we got more serious and he went on vacation to new Orleans with friends from his work and called me messaged me sent photos of it and was great. The day he got back he and I got into it bad....he was supposed to see me and go to the beach but he ignored me all day and said he was with his mom at walk in for anxiety attack she wasnt breathing well...I didmt believe it and had a friend try to message and flirt with him to see if he would respond and he was very friendly and when she asked if he was seeing anyone he caught on that I set him up to trap him and he responded he was to her but was this to make me look dumb and get out of the trap? I dont know. He was pissed and I didnt blame him. I was childish for my mistakes. But then he said he didnt believe I loved him because I said the same things to his brother at one point in time his brother and I had a thing but I forced a relationship when he didnt want anything to do with me. Anyways the guy I love left me because his brother and my childishness. I poured my life story for the first time since I was little until today and he ignored it....wouldn't blocked me but ignored me....Weeks go by and I try bribe him with sex and he outlashed at me because he knew that wasnt who I am we hadent been intimate yet besides kiss...I just wanted him so bad and we got over that and started talking more and I got my own place and now he was trying to love me again? We been so back I forth this time around I feel burnt out. But we always go back to each other why? He doesn't take me out or treat me like I should be? Why do I love him? Well I was calling him babe and he said we aren't dating and got mad because Im always mad....this isn't like me....Im a sweet girl never angry fun outgoing and desirable by many! But with him I felt happy but hurt...so made me mad....thats all he sees? The other night he came over after work and we talking and hung out and then very romantically had sex for the first time since my ex....felt so beautiful and right! We layed there after and he called me babe and cuddled me even though just a few days ago he got mad I called him babe? We layed and he was kissing my forehead grabbed my ear lobes and told me a story how he was little and crawled into bed with his parents every night and slept grabbing their ear lobes made him feel safe and that they were always there. Half hour goes by and he goes home. I understand that I mean Im sure he wanted to sleep at home and eat and **** without me there I felt that way too haha but the next day he doesn't message until I do and he says hes going on a hike with his brother and I said okay and we exchanged smiles and stuff over text and dont hear from him until super late and I find he ignored my Facebook friend request and I see him profile picture and think how handsome its from the hike! And a girl commented....happens to be cute and works with him...she said "photo credit to the amazing Amanda" he liked it....he tells me thats his best friend but I never heard of her...guess her and her sister went on that hike with him and his brother....I ignore it....even though Im dying inside....hes not a ladies man to be honest I dont know if he knows how to have a relationship...yesterday I waited until 3am for him to come over and he said he was doing inventory at work until 2am then I get a message babe ill come tomorrow night after work.....haven't heard from him since and I said what time are you coming but no response and he is either off at 9 or 11. This is so much to take in but I can't read him like I can with most people. I feel so in love with him and I haven't for anyone in so long...but why do I? Does he really? He hasn't said it in month....not even after sex....what do I do....
May I ask your age?
Make better choices in your men!!
Two losers who used you for sex and cuddles.
You have a child coming. Concentrate on that.