@Krzysztof,
This is what I pulled from the American Pediatrics - I used this because your use started in your teens. I have also read (having teen children) how bad marijuana is especially for teens as their brains are still developing.
Effects of Marijuana
Regular use of marijuana can lead to dependence, which causes users to have a very hard time stopping. When teens use marijuana regularly, they may crave marijuana and give up important activities to use marijuana. If they stop using, they may suffer from withdrawal symptoms which can include irritability, anxiety, and changes in mood, sleep, and appetite.
Marijuana can also cause serious problems with learning, feelings, and health. Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is the active ingredient in marijuana. THC affects the brain's control of emotions, thinking, and coordination.
Use of marijuana can lead to:
•School difficulties
•Problems with memory and concentration
•Increased aggression
•Car accidents
•Use of other drugs or alcohol
•Risky sexual behaviors
•Increased risk of suicide
•Increased risk of psychosis
Long-term use of marijuana can lead to:
•The same breathing problems as smoking cigarettes (coughing, wheezing, trouble with physical activity, and lung cancer)
•Decreased motivation or interest
•Lower intelligence
•Mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, anger, moodiness, and psychosis
•Decreased or lack of response to mental health medication
•Increased risk of side effects from mental health medication
It sounds like you are displaying some of these symptoms - I would suggest if you have the resources to get some help so you can get better physically and emotionally.