friendliness

Sure I have and I bet most people have. Doctors are people just like everyone else. Some of them, despite their best efforts at having a good bedside manner, just aren't very good at people (truly, these are doctors who should go into research). Or, there are doctors who have bad days on occasion.

If a doctor is really, really awful to you, complain to him or her, and to the local medical board if the matter isn't resolved to your satisfaction.

There are also, of course, many doctors who are terrific with people.

Remember though - the doctor is a person you hired to help you. If you feel nervous, write down all of the questions that you have so that you won't "freeze" up and forget to ask.

Narrowing down to why the thought of an exam is so fearful, is because is new but it also probably has to do with the embarassing parts.

for that reason, would one want to select a doctor of the same gender (being a male) what would be worse... having a male or a female do the "Honor"

so many horrific stories about those parts fo the exam and dont know if they are true or fiction..... more reading, the worse.

Of course there are terrible doctors who take advantage of people's vulnerabilities. I realize you're already scared and didn't want to read that, but it does happen and we can't just pretend and make it go away.

The best protection you can afford yourself is to check with your local medical board. Has the doctor ever been disciplined for improprieties? If so, then that's your answer. And, ask around, if you know some of the doctor's patients. Do they like him or her? Do they think they receive good care? Has anything inappropriate ever gone on?

I'm a woman and I've been cared for by both male and female doctors. Both types have kneaded my breasts and stuck their fingers up my private parts. Of course I allowed both things to happen - the first is what happens during a breast examination and the second is what happens during a Pap smear. These are tests for cancer; that's how people are kept alive. If my doctor didn't do either of those things during a physical exam, I'd make sure they were done.

You're a man, there is going to be touching of your penis and testicles. Accept this - it's not being done to arouse you, it's to make sure that you don't have prostate cancer. Chances are that a nurse will be in the room during this time but if not, you can insist on that as it is your right if you are concerned.

The bottom line is, a doctor is going to see you naked and is going to touch you. That's the way things are. These touches are done in order to, like I said, check not only for cancer but also for other diseases. For example, your abdomen will probably be kneaded while you're on the examining table; that's to check for any number of diseases. Personally, I howl with laughter whenever that happens as I'm very ticklish there. Again, though, I would insist on that being done if it were somehow forgotten during the course of a medical examination.

If its of any help, most doctors and nurses look at naked bodies like a gardener sees plants: something to fix and nurture. They usually don't see their patients as sexy. Sure, they're still human - but there's a mental divide between what you do at work every day and when you get home. At work they see a breast as a sack of potential cancer developer and baby-feeding device.

There are some bad doctors, but for the most part they are overwhelmingly good. They vary (being individual humans) and you should know the doctor for you because it will be someone who you are comfortable with. They should also be thourough and do a good job.

Your doctor will usually let you know what it is they are doing/checking for when they are touching you. If they are a very nice doctor they will warm up their instruments first!

Want to thank all the questiones answred and putting the aspect in perspective.

Will make the first stab at geting it done

any additoinal comments and information to help ease tension still welcome.

thnx

New to, doctors are people too. Recently, they are more than ever before pushed by circumstances to just shoot questions at people, but that is not their natural way, they are just tired people, who mostly care about their patients.

Try to be clear about what is bothering you, if anything is, so they don't have to guess - as they are challenged for time and are trying to not let you see that they are stressed for time, since by themselves, they'd usually be interested on their own.

They appreciate people who can come to the point and clearly tell what is worrying them.