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Fri 20 Aug, 2004 02:53 am
hi, i just got married recently. before i got married i used to spend so much quiet time alone for myself, but after marriage i barely have 20mins alone. my wife likes to sit with me and talk, and when she's not doing that she turns on the tv and turns up the volume. we live in a 2bed apartment with no much room for me to go.
i tried to explain to her my problem but she said there is nothing else she likes to do besides tv. she also compares it to me using the computer/internet 90% of my time, which is true for many days. but i think using computer/internet is very different from watching tv. both activities have bad and good sides, but turning the computer/internet into a beneficial activity is much easier than turning the tv into that i told her. also computer is much more interactive than tv. i'm willing to compromise but i need a solution. she gets really upset whenever i try to talk to her about that. i really wish i could get her busy doing something more quiet than watching tv... any tips, tricks or advice?
thanks!
I'd rather read than watch television. My husband uses headphones.
This is an easy one......make a deal with her...for every hour of tv she owes you 15 minutes of oral sex.....you'll have cobwebs growing around the tv in no time flat.......
I don't think that it is fair you want her to stop doing something she enjoys but yet you spend 90% of your time on the computer. what if she asked you to stop getting on the computer? maybe you both need to find something outside the house, take walks together or alone. But unless you willing to give up something you enjoy don't expect her to.
Let's see. You spend 90% of your time on the computer, she watches TV with the sound too loud. She likes to talk to you but you want to be alone. Hmmmm.
A couple three possibilites (Damn, now I have to go back to Southern Expressions thread again!)
1) You're not married, you're roommates.
2) You're married and you've been married for seven happy years.
Seven happy years out of about twenty-two is not bad. Right? You aren't really a young guy, you're an old guy like me and Bi-Polar Bear, at least you seem like that.
(BTW, BP, this one hour for 15 minutes scheme wouldn't work if she wants to watch "What not to wear" and while doing it.)
and 3 (this is serious....)
3) You're not going to be married too much longer.
Mostly, because of #1. and She likes to talk to you but you want to be alone
old guy like Bi-Polar? I'm still prime cut Bear thank you very much.....
I agree with Joe. Isn't marriage about companionship?
I've never been married, but that's what I heard ;-)
My husband and I do not have a tv...by choice. We have missed the whole 10 years of "Friends"---have only seen" Seinfeld " while at his parents house, missed the entire reality Tv thing...and I do not think we've missed much. We are both into reading. And we both like "alone" time. I can tell you that sometimes when I am in the mood for some "one on one" and he is buried in a history book, I'm a little annoyed. But I just suck it up and get busy doing something else because I know that he wants to read. It's all about respect, patience, and compromise. Why can't ya'll compromise and have a little understanding of what makes each of you comfy?
I was going to suggest headphones, but Noddy already did. And, Joe has more important points in his post that go to the real problems there.
Being able to compromise is a big part of staying married successfully. Marrying someone with compatible needs also helps. Since you didn't do the 2nd, can you do the first?
Actually the headphones can be worn by either party.
Perhaps the problem is that the two of you are already wearing metaphorical headphones and therefore you can't communicate?
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