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Tue 5 Apr, 2016 09:36 am
Hi, Female here, I've been with a guy for 1 year. We fool around a little, but have never had sex. We tell each other we "I love you" we do everything together. Our families are close. They are expecting us to get engaged any day now. We spend that night at each others places, we go on trips together, we are not seeing anyone else, we hold hands, we cuddle, we sleep in he same bed. We have never had sex. He told me that he is bi sexual. He is currently taking depression/anxiety medicine and his T is low... is this why we haven't had sex, or is it because he is really gay? He's 37, I'm 31.
@gabby1979,
Another alternative is that he's simply not sexually attracted to you. Talk to him about it.
If not having sex with him is a problem for you, consider whether you want to be in a relationship with him. Talk to him about that as well.
@ehBeth,
Why would he be in a relationship with me for a year (plus 3 month before we were "exclusive) if he were not sexually attracted to me? What a waste of time for someone in our 30's??!! Something feels off. He is defensive when I bring sex up and doesn't want to discuss it.
@gabby1979,
Have the two of you discussed any kind of long-term relationship/future?
He might enjoy spending time with you without being sexually attracted to you.
Yes, you may be a "cover" for his other life (gay)
The fact that you have not had full on sex (intercourse) with him after this long and he gets defensive about discussing it with you is a RED FLAG.
Do not marry him!!
@ehBeth,
Yes, he has told me that he sees a future with me, sees us having children.
@PUNKEY,
How do you get someone to talk about it if they just won't, yet they tell you that they love you and want a future with you?
@gabby1979,
Have you asked him where the children will come from?
Seriously, if he wants to talk about a future - talk to him about couples counselling.
@gabby1979,
gabby1979 wrote:
How do you get someone to talk about it if they just won't
you tell them that counselling is a prerequisite to a relationship
Never mind what he SAYS, watch what he DOES: He will not have sex with you and he refuses to go to counseling.
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