Question

I don't think so. There were 2 crazy girlfriends in a row?

Exactly right, ehBeth. If you go back far enough, you will find that there was a third crazy girlfriend four years ago and one tyrant whose favorite saying was "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine." As one friend said, "Jim you have the worst luck imaginable in dating!"

The one in her 40s was bipolar. I remain a bit frustrated by the situation because my feelings for her were real, and she shut them down in a very bipolar way. So, when she runs in front of my car at a stoplight and goes out of her way to hide her face like a child...well, the feelings of hurt welled back. I cure the hurt by working out at the gym...my hurt is being translated into good health and larger biceps The fact is that her leaving was the best thing that happened to me in the last year. My hair is growing back...literally.

The woman in her fifties was a fling I didn't want to have happen, but it happened and that was it.

Currently, becoming friends with two women. Friends and who knows what else will develop, but not worried about it. Both are very nice hardworking single moms. The chances of friendship--100 percent. And, at this point, that might very well be enough for me. Just need a friend to grab some soup for me when I am sick and to go to the symphony with me, to have a chat and to commiserate. I'd do the same for them, of course.

Actually, someone replied to my post and said that it wasn't immature; that it was a natural reaction to being hurt at the time. Noticing that your ex does not look good isn't about being vengeful. It is about self-soothing and saying to oneself, "Well, they were happier looking when they were with me." It doesn't mean anything at all...it is purely emotional nonsense, but it is a human reaction. We shouldn't deny human emotions. I think those who spend their lives trying to deny their humanity and vulnerability are reliant on stool-softeners...in other words, just chill out. I appreciate other posted comments that advise me to manage my emotions and avoid contact...great advice. I feel better already Thank you.

that sounds like a healthy place to be.

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it does seem you are still somewhat hung-up on the bipolar ex. You might want to consider working with someone on getting past that as you seem to be getting stuck.

Thanks! Another reason I feel better is the post-gym workout aura...sore muscles, pumped up feeling...Your are right to advise me to not get hung up on the bi-polar ex, but the benefit has been a great bod for me....10 months of intense gym workouts just to get her out of my mind as much as possible. I know that it is rather shallow to focus on the physical, but it makes me feel better about myself and it is kind of an ego boost when a woman goes out of her way to smile at me. Stupid, yes, but it is nice.

I can relate to that a bit.

I did my best golfing the summer after a breakup when I pretended the golf ball was my ex's face. Ended up winning quite a few prizes that season. TaylorMade driver for longest drive by a woman, set of clubs for closest to the hole, was on a winning team in a charity tournament (we won partly because of my sand wedge work). We're friends again now, but my annoyance with him had positive results.