This week in American discourse.
By Matt Miller
Mar 25, 2016
Though he refuses to confirm that he is not the Zodiac Killer, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz assured voters today that he will not **** rats. Though it's hard to believe that a human or a rodent would go anywhere near Cruz, the candidate also confirmed that he will not have sex with his opponent, Donald Trump. As Cruz said so at a press conference today:
"Let me be clear: Donald Trump may be a rat, but I have no desire to copulate with him."
This is a very clear statement. But why won't Cruz confirm the other animals he won't ****? What about pigeons? They're rats with wings. What about mice? They're rats, but like not as bad. What about rodents, in general? Senator Cruz, can you please provide voters a list of animals that you will or will not have sex with?
Cruz also claimed that the National Enquirer story about his alleged extramarital affairs are "complete and utter lies."
Besides, in addition to this story, there is the other one about Ted's affairs. One of the rumors is that Ted started the rumors of affairs with other women himself, because he's actually gay and decided that being "caught" having sex with women outside his marriage would be the perfect cover.
I have no idea if this story is true or not. But in the present maelstrom of rumor, I figured I would just add it.
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bobsal u1553115
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Sat 26 Mar, 2016 06:30 am
Anything that jolts the twerp is good stuff.
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ehBeth
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Sat 26 Mar, 2016 03:16 pm
@bobsal u1553115,
nonono
he does do rats, just not the Donald Trump rat (or so we determined by a thorough grammatical analysis of the sentence on FB)
Yeah, the way Cruz says it makes it sound like "being a rat" is one of Trump's redeeming qualities. LOL.
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bobsal u1553115
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Mon 28 Mar, 2016 11:18 pm
@ehBeth,
He looks quite like a rat. His Jr high school photo:
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revelette2
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Tue 29 Mar, 2016 09:51 am
@bobsal u1553115,
Completely gross all around.
As far as father/ daughter issues, Trump's with his daughter is worse in the other direction. He once said he would date her if she wasn't his daughter. I would cringe (to say the least) if I were his daughter for the rest of my life.
That video is astonishing, to talk about your daughter in those terms. When I first heard about this, I thought maybe what he meant was to say, "If I was a young man and I met my daughter, I would ask her out". That wouldn't be so weird and creepy. But no, Trump plunged in with both feet on that statement.
Makes you wonder-do we have another John Phillips and MacKenzie Phillips type thing going on here?
Makes you wonder-do we have another John Phillips and MacKenzie Phillips type thing going on here?
At least in the Donald's fantasy life.
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Brandon9000
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Wed 30 Mar, 2016 04:35 am
You make some trenchant points about the deficiencies in their platforms. I was going to vote for Cruz, but certainly not after reading your astute analyses about rats.
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