Together promoting team-spirit

Forums: English
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Please make the paragraph below sound professional in English.

What he says and does has an immediate clout upon his colleagues in the company. He treats his employees as the members of his family, thinking what they think, and doing what they do. Only can a good leader bring out good employees. An ordinary word that he delivers is the answer that all of us have been looking for -- Together promoting team-spirit, our company shall boom as a matter of course.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,131 • Replies: 13

No top replies

Re: Together promoting team-spirit

oristarA wrote:

Please make the paragraph below sound professional in English.

What he says and does has an immediate clout upon his colleagues in the company. He treats his employees as the members of his family, thinking what they think, and doing what they do. Only can a good leader bring out good employees. An ordinary word that he delivers is the answer that all of us have been looking for -- Together promoting team-spirit, our company shall boom as a matter of course.

Here are a couple of different versions - I was unsure about what you were trying to say with the sentence about treating employees as members of his family and whether you meant, in the last sentence, that the team spirit combined with a good leader would lead to success. Hope this helps.

His words and actions give him clout with colleagues inside the company. He treats his employees as family members, thinking as they think and doing what they do. Only a good leader can bring out the potential of his employees. His casual comments offer the solutions we need. - Together, promoting team-spirit, our company shall succeed as a matter of course.

His words and actions give him clout inside the company. Only a good leader can bring out the potential of his employees... he treats his employees as he would his family, thinking and working with them. His casual comments lead to the solutions we need. A good leader promotes a strong team and creates unbeatable team spirit, leading our company to success.

0 Replies

His actions earn him respect among his colleagues in the company. He treats his employees like members of his own family. Only a good leader can make good employees like he does. We speak words, but he speaks answers. Our employees will follow his lead, and through team-spirit our company will prosper.

1 - clout is a very rarely used word, and much more commonly refers to a physical blow. so it's definition for influence is not the kind of influence you want to convey. we expect to hear "respect" or "influence"

2 - only a good leader can, not only can a good leader

0 Replies

Thanks Piffka and Stub.

Regarding "clout", it is still used in American media, for example:

N.J. governor quits, says he's gay
By Kathy Kiely, USA TODAY
Aug,15, 2004
At least one other gay elected official has successfully weathered a storm over his sexuality: Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass., has been re-elected six times since his 1990 House censure over his efforts to use his congressional clout to clear the criminal record of a male prostitute. Frank is one of about 275 openly gay officials currently holding office, according to various gay rights groups.

0 Replies

oristarA, your example is a perfect example of why the word does not fit well in the context you are trying to use. you are talking about a man that people respect and follow out of admiration, not out of obligation or fear or rank.

0 Replies

I respectfully disagree, Stuh. I think clout is a strong word and frequently used in a variety of contexts. This is the latest use of the word "clout" by the New York Times. It was posted today and I believe most people respect Senator John McCain.

Quote:

The White House has declined to denounce that ad. Kerry, mindful of McCain's political clout, issued a conciliatory statement minutes after the Arizona senator told The Associated Press he wanted Kerry to condemn the anti-Bush ad.

0 Replies

The word clout is still very much in use. Usually following the word political

0 Replies

Google clout, and you will find it is much in use:

Quote:

USATODAY.com Aug 17, 2004
... Ted Halaby have criticized the proposal, saying it would lessen the state's clout - in presidential elections because candidates would be more likely to ignore ...

www.usatoday.com/printedition/news/20040817/a_eline17.art.htm

USATODAY.com Aug 17, 2004
... has reason to try to increase market share now. Rival Microsoft is expected to launch - an online music store in the fall and use its desktop clout to market it. ...

www.usatoday.com/printedition/money/20040817/real17.art.htm

5. USATODAY.com - Games return to village where they began Aug 17, 2004
... restructured local political borders two years ago. Olympia was folded into a - regional government with 22 other villages, leaving it with little clout. ...

0 Replies

But then I agree with stuh. In the context of what you provided the word impact would be more apropos.

0 Replies

Well, yeah, you two may be right, especially if Oristar wants to modify the word "clout" with "immediate" -- but I like Oristar's innovative use of words... plus, "clout" is an Anglo-Saxon word, not derived from Latin.

0 Replies

oristarA,

if you want to use clout, you can use clout

fine by me...

but it's not the right word, and both of your examples support my comment

0 Replies

Stuh -- you sound angry. Are you a high school teacher?

0 Replies

"Clout" implies using force to get your way, against the wishes of others. It's akin to laying about with a club... in Oristar's paragraph, this leader is using his influence for the good of others; I don't think clout has the right nuance. And while I, too, appreciate Oristar's creative uses of language, idiomatically, I think you can use clout but not have clout... to me, "have immediate clout" is like "have immediate hammer"...

0 Replies

Thanks for your opinion, Wy.

0 Replies

Together promoting team-spirit

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know