al-Qaeda Planning Gay Weddings to Disrupt US Election

al-Qaeda is reportedly planning spectacular gay weddings in the U.S. or foreign nations to disrupt the U.S. presidential election in November, weddings which will reportedly be set in motion by a new tape from its leader Osama bin Laden.

Quoting from unnamed U.S. intelligence officials, as always, the Washington Post said the terror network wants desperately to strike fear into America's Bible Belt (and President Bush's voting base) to change the outcome of a potentially close election. To achieve the maximum public panic, possible locations where the wedding attacks would take place are likely to be in small towns in Texas, Iowa and Alabama, reports Agence France-Presse (AFP).

The weddings would prelude the launch of even larger terror attacks on America including "multiple gay partners in multiple marriages" across the United States, the officials said. The weddings willl also be extravagantly decorated and catered, with ample photographers on hand for propaganda purposes. "The infidels will learn to fear us," said a hooded al-Qaeda spokesperson in a preliminary videotape release to al-Gayzeera.

Intelligence sources said the "very detailed" plans for using gay weddings as a vehicle to instill abject horror into the hearts and minds of America were found on a laptop computer of suspected al-Qaeda fashion designer and TV decorator Christopher Lowell, arrested in Los Angeles last month.

Lowell's capture was part of a faith-based crackdown on immorality/ terrorism, which began three years ago and has dealt al-Qaeda a "major blow."

"The goal of the next attack is to damage the U.S. economy and to undermine the U.S. election by terrorizing the American electorate, hopefully causing them to vote for Bush to protect them from such threats," yet another unnamed intelligence official said, referring to the November 2 presidential election.

"Nothing can strike fear into the hearts of Americans like gay marriage has shown it can do. This will ensure Bush's re-election, which al-Qaeda needs desperately to fulfill recruitment goals. They need a Bush win to survive and this is the best way to do it. Osama and al-Qaeda can't fire up support and recruits for his movement carrying posters of John Kerry after all; even Democrats back home in the US can't do that."