Guilt is going to ruin my life

I agree with Glenn.

Thank you, you're right in that I do need to give myself permission but then I feel guilty about that too.

I'm going to seek out counselling, but it might take awhile, I'm in the UK and while we have the NHS it's not brilliant for mental health so will have to find the money for private counselling.

Why would you feel guilty because you ate some candy or someone buys something for you?

Wouldn't you rather thoroughly enjoy those things?
Guilt is feeling bad when you've done something wrong. Eating and getting gifts isn't wrong.

Just like wanting some me time from a child, and not being perfect isn't wrong.

I think when guilt takes over your life you need to get counseling. Maybe you are a bit of a perfectionist and as a result anytime you feel short of it -- which you are going to --- you feel guilty.

As far as leaving your child overnight or a few hours - you should not feel guilty. You are doing the best for your child. You are getting well needed rest - which will make you a better parent -- and your child is getting great quality care and attention with her grandparents what a win-win situation. You should be patting yourself on the back for not being selfish and sharing your child. My pediatrician once said to me - as a parent you need to be well rested and take yourself otherwise you will not be as a good a parent as you need to be.

Don't let guilt take over your life --- it sounds like you are doing the right thing by speaking with someone.

Keep only positive forces in your life. If they cause you stress or lack of sleep or guilt, they ar not positive for you. I walked away from negative influences in my life. You dont want your children influenced by bad attitudes. If they can stay positive for you for the benefit of your children, thats great. If they cant, your children are better off without them.