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Is it too soon to propose?

 
 
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2016 01:24 pm
So me and my girlfriend have known each other for about 3-1/2 years now and have only been dating for the last 2-1/2 months. She and I were great friends for that 3 years and had just recently found out our true feelings for each other. we had never fooled around as just friends but we had slept in the same bed on multiple occasions, just neither one of us could go through with anything sexual. Now we know and we're in love but I'm unsure if it's too early to propose or not? I know I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her because she makes me a better person and she makes me happier than I ever have been. She says she feels the same way. we have both discussed marriage but we want the time to be right. I'm feeling it now, just need a little insight.
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 3,649 • Replies: 7
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2016 01:47 pm
@snowmanak907,
Do you live together? when do you think you'll be getting around to having sex?

I can't imagine marrying someone (or even considering a proposal) who I didn't have a good sexual relationship with.

If not living together yet, what plans do you have for that?
snowmanak907
 
  1  
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2016 02:33 pm
@ehBeth,
Let me rephrase. We didn't have sexual relations at all during the time that we were just friends (a little over 3 years, and this was a best friend type of friendship). Since we have been officially dating (the last 2-1/2 months) we have been extremely sexually active and it is really great sex, if I might add. We just weren't ready to allow sex to have an affect on our friendship in the beginning and for the first year of our friendship she was in a relationship so we didn't have any feelings then, other than we were solely friends that truly cared about each other. Also our mothers are best friends, that's how we became connected initially.

We do live with each other within the last month so she can save on not paying rent because we decided we will be moving to Washington state together next month.

Sorry about the confusion.
Fil Albuquerque
 
  2  
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2016 02:37 pm
@snowmanak907,
Give it 6 months more just because. Then if things keep afloat go for it.
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CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Fri 19 Feb, 2016 02:41 pm
@snowmanak907,
You have known each other for 3 years, so you should have a good sense of who the other person is. So personally, I don't think there is any problem with proposing after only dating for three months.

You can always propose, but plan for a 2017 wedding to make sure something does not materialize that would make one or both of you think twice about it. Of course, you could just as easily wait another few months to give the living together thing more time, then propose and get married toward the end of the year.
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snowmanak907
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2016 10:26 am
Thanks for the input everyone. Kinda how I was thinking about it, just wanted to know how it would look being that I was unsure. I think I'm still going to give it a little more time. At least until we get settled after our move, I feel like there would be too much to focus on if I were to propose before we were settled.
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ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Feb, 2016 11:14 am
@snowmanak907,
ah that helps

complete your move

get settled in Washington state

relocations can be stressful so wait til you're both comfortable in your new home

then go for it if you're both still into it

good luck with the move and the proposal

__

if you're madly in love at that point, have a nice civil wedding in your new community right away and go home for a party with family and friends. no need to wait around.
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maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Mon 7 Mar, 2016 08:39 am
@snowmanak907,
What are the benefits to proposing right now? You have a great thing going, can you just enjoy it for a year or two? I don't know what the rush would be or if there is a reason that you want to be married so soon.

My advice would be to wait for a couple of years.

Right now your brain is being swamped with all of the neurochemicals that come from a new relationship. It is great. You should enjoy every minute of it. But there is no need to rush into marriage, which everyone wants to be life long, when you are under the influence of these powerful brain chemicals.

Wait a couple of years for your relationship to mature. Then you can be more confident of the foundation of a long term relationship before making this long term commitment.

Enjoy a great exciting relationship for now, savor every moment of it.
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