Please correct any mistake in my composition,thank you !

Hello Mennow! Welcome to A2K. I thought I'd just rewrite your piece with changes included so that you can go over it at your leisure.

Franklin once said that "time is money". I think that time is more important than money. We can earn money once more if we lose (or 'have lost') it, but we can't get back time if we waste it. Time is like a river which flows forward forever.

Although time is so vital to us, many people don't cherish it. Some students indulge in network games all day and all night which influences their learning and health, some employees use their time to chat instead of working, and so on. I think it is foolish to behave this way.

In my opinion, time is so important that we should take advantage of every minute in order to make a contribution to society. Of course, this does not mean that we can't relax in our spare time. In short, we should cherish time and remember the words, "time and tide wait for no man."

Preciousness of Time

Franklin once said that [you can leave out ?'that' to clear it up some] "Time is money." I think time is not money, [use a semi-colon here instead of a comma, you have two independent clauses] it is more important than money. [Your sentence break here is incorrect. Instead of the period, use a comma and lowercase the B on ?'because'.]Because that [I am not sure why you used the word ?'that,' I would suggest deleting it to make the sentence clearer.] we can earn money once more if we lost [Instead of ?'we lost it,' I would rather use ?'we lose it' in order to keep tense.] it, but we can't find [the word ?'bring' would make more sense here] back time if we wast [waste is spelled with an e ] it. Time likes [I'm not sure why time ?'likes a river,' I think you might have been trying to say ?'time is like a river'] a river which flows forward forever.

Although time is so vital for us, many people aren't cherish [you need a progressive participle here, ?'cherishing' instead of cherish] it. Some students indulge in network games all day and all [optionally, you can delete the second ?'all' here to make the sentence a little shorter/cleaner] night ,which influence their learning and health; [you need a period here instead of a semi-colon. You CAN use the semi-colon, but in order to do so, you must lowercase the S on the word ?'Some'] Some employee [you have a numerical agreement problem here. Use the plural word ?'employees' instead of ?'employee'] take their time to chat instead of working when they are in work, and so on. I think it is foolish to do like [Deleting the word ?'like' would sound better here.]that.

In my opinion, even if the [delete the ?'even if the' in order to make the sentence an independent clause.] time is so important that we should take advantage of every minutes [Use the singular form of the word ?'minute' instead of ?'minutes'.] to make contribution [now use the plural form of the word ?'contribution' by adding an S on the end] for [contributions are made TOWARD something in this case] the society. Of course , it's not mean that we can't relax ourselves in the spare time .In short, we should cherish time and remember the word[use ?'saying' instead of ?'word']?-?-Time and tide wait for no man.



I hope that helps you some. I didn't get everything, but that should clear it up a lot. Good Luck!