Distant partner

Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 03:56 am
Hello my name is Taki and i have a problem in my relationship.
It all started when she started to work we used to have frequent sex but now nothing it comes to maybe once every 4 5 days all of a sudden.
She comes back from work i ask her whats going on she says shes tired she works almost 10 hours per day and her mind seems completely off.
We been together for almost one year from dostance and and now she moved with me.
We used to be talking about many things for us and her excuse to avoid that matters is to talk aboit matters of life not only us.
I tried to see if she was thinking of another man but when i mention that she becomes angry and irritated and say i had enough of that.
Her affections of love are becoming like begging for me and shes just not interested or when i try to go for intimate spots she says what are you doing.
Btw she lets me touch and massage her but she sleeps almost emidiatly.
We used to have fun i tried to surprise her many times shes that type of girl wich dont act well on surprises just nautral and a bit of loving.
I dont know what to do to determine the problem.
I try and make her sleep close to me and her excuse is i cant i want space in bed to sleep like a rhino hahaha!
One time qe talked she said i push her too much and cjoke her but theres something shes hiding i can feel it in my gut.
Need advice on how to proceed to make things better again.
Looking forward for some help on this matter we are both in close 30s.
Thank you in advance
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Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 04:23 am
Ha . . . in thirty years, she'll be complaining that you don't perform often enough for her. She probably is tired--a ten hour day, plus travel to and from work, i'll bet she's exhausted by the time she gets home. Women and men have different libidos, and different attitudes toward sexual stimulation. Women have the thoroughly unreasonable expectation that a relationship is about a good deal more than just jumping one another's bones. You should cherish your time together and not obsess about sex. Grabbing her body is not necessarily stimulating to her. Make a special time each week when you just spend time together. Go for a walk, go to a movie--and if it doesn't lead to sex, don't whine about it, don't get angry, don't behave as though you are disappointed, just enjoy her company. Pleading, insisting, harping on sex all the time could destroy your relationship. She's supposed to be your best friend. Get to know her, get to know the things she likes, do the things she likes because she is your best friend and what friends do is spend time together in order to enjoy one another's company. Did you only move in together so you could get laid frequently, or did you move in together because she is your friend?
Reply Wed 17 Feb, 2016 07:14 am
I changed countries to be with her and make a new begining for myself i came here to build something serious but her habits and thisngs she said to me before are no more what they used to be.
Its not only about sex we used to have every day before she started working and now i believe shes emptionally shallow for me.
She just shows some tokens of affection for 5 mins and thats it unless she wants something from me wich in the case her legs hirt etc...
But i feel something is wrong maybe i choked her by everyday asking whats wrong and all but shes a very hard person to penetrate and shatter her walls.
I wanted us to be equals in the relationship not one more than the other that was the idea, had many experiences in my life nono like this girl.
What can i do to turn the table so that she actually misses me or wants to be with me all the time you know what i mean.
Here i came with 0 no friends no one and she has the upper hand hahaha.
We are and were constantly together when no work i currently dont work but found one job now after 2 months living together hope this changes things a bit.
Thanx for your quick reply.
You know people usually give good advice to others but not to themselves haha so looking forward to hear your answer or just talk!!
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