Fri 12 Feb, 2016 02:37 am
Me and my bf fell into a fight few days back.I told him to stop smoking and he promised not to but few days ago it was his friend's bday and he did smoke again.... He has promised and broken his promise a lot many times so dis tym I got frustrated. He was trying to defend himself and the he stopped talking for like two days. When he came bck, I said that if he is ok with smoking then I won't stop him anymore as I am tired of fighting over dis. He said he will not do it again and will stop smoking for me,I said "don't do it for me" and then I changed the topic.
But while talking to him dat nyt I didn't felt the same love for him. I felt kinda awkward while talking to him, he got infuriated and I askd him to sleep.
Last nyt again while we were talking, I ws nt able to connect with him properly and when I told him dis, he got frustrated again,I said "it isn't my fault" , he apologized but I lost my mood and I asked him to leave den.
I feel guilty now ,I dnt knw why.
What should I do???
What you should do is to stop trying to control him. Tobacco is an ugly and a powerful addiction. You aren't helping by playing the queen bee. Relationships require some give and take, and to be really successful, it can't be a case of one person dominating and the other crawling to them. Lighten up. If you genuinely care for him, you'll try to help him, and not to order him around. I could be wrong, of course, but it sounds to me as though you want to be in charge and that his betrayal is in not accepting that.
No you are not wrong but I never ordered him to do anything and as I this time I actually said that I won't interfere anymore as he may feel bad to not to join his friends and moreover I cannot compell him to leave smthng he doesn't want to. I am ok with that part now but after that fight I am not able to CONNECT with him properly. What should I do 'bout that ?? Thanks for your suggestion anyways. People hardly try to help here. Thank you and further suggestions are appreciated
You may have to be patient. It may take him a while to get over a feeling of resentment. Give it some time, let him know you care and want to continue to be friends.
You're welcome, and i wish you the best in your relationship.