Guy Confuses Me (Girl) What on earth does he mean?!

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I am a young woman who works part time at a call centre and am a full time student.
The working atmosphere and team dynamic in this job is casual and fairly close knit. As the only part time worker I am both a part of the team yet separate in many respects. There is a young man at work who is well liked, good looking and very humorous. He makes jest at many things like a joker. I bare in mind that his in-genuine character may have something to do with losing his father last year .
He constantly makes comments about me jokishly most of the time, teasing me about how 'nice' I am and constantly questioning 'why' I am there. A lot of the time I put up with it because the environment does not accommodate to me complaining to him about his manner towards me.

The women at work all have varying degrees of crushes on him and he (I believe teasingly) has made comments about dating me (who has not knowingly betrayed any romantic interest in him. However, today he approached me (I had lost my voice) and randomly said 'wanna go out with me?' I delayed in answering because I didn't know whether he was teasing me or being genuine. He looked as though he was struggling to read something as he asked me and he did not smile or laugh for those quick moments. Some of our colleagues teased and smiled at how I'm gonna write no (in my notebook since I couldnt speak) in response and he then smiled and said he asked me because I couldn't speak. So I called his bluff and wrote 'where?' To which my colleague teased 'aaahh she didnt say no!' That's when he appeared to recoil somewhat and quickly said 'I'll get back to you' before leaving the scene quickly. I then heard and saw him bouncing around from desk to desk asking about people wanting to do something with him (not other single women mind you) and he even enquired about a 'double date' but by this point I had changed my focus.

Based on what I have explained to you, can you tell me whether you think he was genuinely asking me out or whether he was being cruel for a joke? The reason I am curious is because I am quite guarded in regard to issues like this as I dont want to be messed about for a laugh.

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@Gotteem,

My opinion he is a player and they all know it and you are new.

"Ah met your kind Smile

" comes to mind.

Just keep an eye out over the next few months, it's too early for you to make any judgement about him but I suspect after a few months you will have your answer.

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Call center must be a rough job when your voice goes away.

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@Gotteem,

This is simple advice: don't date where you work. Clearly he will blab anything and everything. When it goes badly, and it will eventually, this will become public gossip. also, based on his comment where he asked you why you were working there, he's harassing you (in more than one way). He's making an uncomfortable work environment. I'd warn him about that. If he doesn't stop that behavior, it should be reported to your supervisor.

Find someone else to date that isn't a jerk as this one is. He doesn't sound too mature and based on what you have written, you two don't seem like a good match.

Instead of wondering whether he is trying to ask you out, you should be asking him when will he stop harassing you.

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@Ragman,

Right, your comment is a bit preachy especially seeing as I had previously explained in the clearest euphemism why I cannot report/complain about his comments. "the environment does not accommodate to me complaining to him about his manner towards me." I can't be more PC than that in my description. I never wrote that I liked him or wanted to date him. I just wanted to know if the occurrence sounded like mockery or a genuine question. Simple as. Nothing more added to the answer than what was asked please.

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@roger,

I can't detect sarcasm via email messaging. But on a serious note it has been hard this past week, I have been charged with completing emails until I recover.

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@FOUND SOUL,

Thanks for the reply. I'll keep your advice in mind.

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@Gotteem,

hmmmm?

People in forums sometimes can be more blunt than you might be used to. I didn't intentionally offend. Perhaps I misread what you wrote or read quickly; however, that being said, you seem a bit thin-skinned.

Quote:

The working atmosphere and team dynamic in this job is casual and fairly close knit.

The sort of the work environment with his actions toward you that you describe seems a bit toxic IMHO.

When you ask advice in a forum, sometimes people will write things that you may disagree with. My advice was written with good intentions.

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@Ragman,

"thin skinned" is a personal insult and an unnecessary one. If you do not understand the need for euphemisms in my descriptions of issues then it is no wonder why you have haphazardly handled my post. It isn't about your opinion or what I think about it. It is (supposed to be) about answering the question asked in the post. Because you jumped to conclusions you sought to give me advice concerning things which I neither disclosed with you nor actually desired. I had no intention of dating this man nor did I request for your pre-judgements on things you assumed that I did.

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@Gotteem,

Tell him to leave you alone if he won't stop bothering you.

Complain to his boss if you must.

Keep it quiet and don't share it with your buddies.

Find another job if you cannot get help with this issue. You do not have to take it.

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@Gotteem,

Sorry if what I said offended you but you seem quite easily offended. I see that you you have no intention of dating him. Sometimes I add general info that might be better directed to other members who are reading this with a similar problem who might be considering dating. This clearly doesn't apply to you.

Good luck with online forums and in life.

{edit: I second what Jespah just wrote.}

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@Gotteem,

Gotteem wrote:

Based on what I have explained to you, can you tell me whether you think he was genuinely asking me out or whether he was being cruel for a joke?

we don't know, but my guess would be neither

he wasn't asking you out and there was nothing cruel about it

he was playing about

__

don't date where you work - that's all you really need to take in about this

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@Gotteem,

Gotteem wrote:

I dont want to be messed about for a laugh.

you are going to need to lighten up on this or find somewhere different to work

try to take stuff like casual play and flirting less seriously - it's not a big deal

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Guy Confuses Me (Girl) What on earth does he mean?!

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