3
   

Feminist mother in law upset about my bra on the floor?

 
 
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 08:55 pm
So over holiday break I stayed with my fiancé at his families house. We are both in college but he has some younger siblings ages 6-11. One night we were watching some netflix after dinner in his room and i took my bra off (because I wanted to be comfortable) and set it on the floor by the bed. Then his little brother came in (6 yrs old) to get a board game out of the closet. After that my boyfriends mother came in for a second. Later that night she told my boyfriend that she needed to talk to him and then said that she doesn't want her 6 year old son seeing a bra on the floor and us in a bed.
We were not fooling around at all. His mom claims to be a feminist. It doesn't make sense to me that she would make such a big deal about a bra on the floor. I guess i don't know that much about feminism but.. i don't know, what do you guys think?
 
jespah
 
  5  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 08:59 pm
@Adeline21,
It has nothing whatsoever to do with feminism.

She doesn't want to see your clothes on the floor and she'd rather her young child wasn't treated to the sight of the two of you in bed together.

Her house, her rules.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 08:59 pm
@Adeline21,
You behaved inappropriately in a house where you were a guest.

If you're old enough to be engaged, you're old enough to understand basic manners and standards of behaviour.
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 09:13 pm
@Adeline21,
Having read so far, I'm on your side.

0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 09:17 pm
@ehBeth,
basic manners? Did the poster get a list at the door?

I might agree that the poster behaved inapproriately given the household.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 09:33 pm
@Adeline21,
If I walked in and saw a couple in bed and a bra on the floor, the possibility that you had just been having sex would at least cross my mind. I understand why any mother would not want a 6 year old kid to see this.

I think it the mother is being reasonable. And it is her house. I don't see how this has anything to do with feminism.
engineer
 
  2  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 09:55 pm
@maxdancona,
I assume the mother set up the room to have the couple together. Wouldn't she expect them to be in there together? Why would the six year old feel he could go in the room to begin with? I try to keep things neat, but I generally have a neat pile of clothes on the floor somewhere when I'm in a hotel or guest room.

Still, no reason to get bent here. It's her house, say sorry and let it go.
maxdancona
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 10:07 pm
@Adeline21,
I must admit, I am always amused by the argument about what makes a "good" feminist (would a good feminist even wear a bra?).
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 10:54 pm
@engineer,
The six year old went in to get a board game. The guest room probably has other functions when there are no guests in it.

You'd really put clothes on the floor in someone else's house? if I haven't been given a drawer, I always make sure everything's tucked back in my suitcase when not in use. Same thing in hotels ... everything's packed away ... except whatever I'm reading and what's being charged.

I was taught that other people's homes have to be respected - keep ém tidy - keep a low profile when I'm not helping out with something.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 10:56 pm
@engineer,
given that she refers to the room as her boyfriend's room, it's not clear that his mother had set them up to share the room (that's still an iffy proposition in a lot of families - never my mother's but that's another adventure)
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  0  
Reply Thu 7 Jan, 2016 11:01 pm
@maxdancona,
For a lot of reasons having much to do with your take on feminism, and your slimy takes on it. Me, I don't see a problem.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » Feminist mother in law upset about my bra on the floor?
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/17/2021 at 07:27:10